Pissed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did the fly fall off the toilet?
It got pissed off.

Entering a bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I am so pissed off!"
"Really?" What happened?" the bartender asked.
"Well, I met this gorgeous woman and she invited me back to her place.
We stripped off our clothes, jumped into bed and just as we're about to make love her damn husband came in the front door. So, I had to jump out the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!" the man explained.
"Gee, that really is tough!" replied the bartender.
"Right, but that's not what really got me angry," continued the man. "When her husband entered the room, he said, 'Great! You're already naked! Let me just take a leak'. Damned if the lazy bugger doesn't go and piss out the window right onto my head!"
"Yuck! No wonder you're in a lousy mood," said the bartender.
"Yeah, but I still haven't told you what really, really got to more...

Why did the condom cross the road?
He was pissed off!

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over
and confided to the bartender, "
I'm so pissed off !"
"
Oh yeah? What happened?"
asked the bartender politely.
"
See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her
home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we
were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in
the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and
hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"
"
Gee, that's tough!"
commiserated the bartender.
"
Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated,"
the
customer went on.
"
When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're
naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy
son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"
"
Yeech!"
the bartender shook his head. more...

Confucius Say... Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. He who lives in glass house, dress in basement. Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly. Better to be pissed off than pissed on. He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long. Couple on 7 day honeymoon make hole weak. Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip. Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honorable discharge. Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts. He who run behind bus get exhausted. Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck. He who fishes in others' holes often catches crabs. Man who puts dick in Peanut Butter jar is Fucking Nuts.