Pissed Jokes / Recent Jokes
Confucius say...
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Confucius say...
Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
Confucius say...
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Confucius say...
He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.
Confucius say...
Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.
Confucius say...
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Confucius say...
Couple on 7 day honeymoon make hole weak.
Confucius say...
Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.
Confucius say...
Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honorable discharge.
Confucius say....
Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Confucius say...
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Confucius say...
Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts.
Confucius say...
Squirrel who more...
3 bullets
This pregnant woman got shot 3 times in the stomach while pregnant with triplets. The bullets went into all 3 of the babies. The doctor told the mother that the bullet will come out of their bodies at age 14.
At age 14, one of the girls comes up to the mom and says I went to the bathroom and pissed out a bullet. The mom explains the story to her daughter. The second daughter comes up to her mom and says mom i just pissed out a bullet. The mom explains the story to her. The son comes up to his mom and the mom says let me guess u pissed out a bullet. The boy says no i was jerking off and I shot the cat!!!
A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off.Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said " Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez".Then the midget ask if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth. Then the midget ask if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat.The midget looked up at the owner and said. "Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop."
A small balding man stormed into a local bar one evening and demanded, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got! I'm so pissed off I can't even see straight!" The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a DOUBLE.
The man swilled down the drink and demanded, "Gimme another ONE!" The bartender pours the drink, but said, "Now, before I give you this, why don't you let off a little steam and tell me WHY you're so upset?"
So the man begins his tale: "Well, I am a salesman for this fancy goose pillows. I got an order and took several samples to an apartment in this neighbourhood. I knock on the door and this woman opens the door. Now, the lady can't make up her mind, so she asks me to take the samples to the bedroom and check them there. As I get into the bedroom I hear some keys jingling, and SOMEONE starts fumbling with the door."
"Well, the woman says, 'Oh my god, it's my BOYFRIEND. He more...
This guy enters a restaurant, and orders a milkshake, "Not too thick, not too thin, but in the groove man, in the groove."
The cook, who hates to be told how to cook, hears this and gets pissed off, but sends him the milkshake.
The guy then orders a box of fries, "Not too crisp, not too soft, but in the groove man, in the groove."
The cook is getting really pissed off at this, but he rolls up his sleeves and gets him the box of fries.
Then the guy orders a hamburger, "Not too big, not too small, but in the groove man, in the groove."
On hearing this, the cook storms out and charges up to the guy, and says, "You can just kiss my ass, not too much to the left, not too much to the right, but in the groove man, in the grooove."