Playboy Jokes

The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. "She uses too many four-letter words for me," was the reply. "Really?" "Yes," answered the playboy. "Allevening long she was saying "don't" and "stop" and "quit that."

A playboy is a cagey guy Who has a lot of fun. He samples every pretty wench And never Mrs. one.

Dear Star Savior,

Hi. It's Playboy magazine publisher Hugh Hefner. One of my three girlfriends has decided to stop seeing me. I saw this coming after I told her that I don't want to be married and have children. She's still here in the Playboy Mansion, but she says it's over, so I guess it's over. What do you think I should do?


Dear Hugh,

You are absolutely right. When she says it's over, it's over, and there is nothing to keep her from leaving. But there should be. Nothing keeps a relationship going like shackles. I promise: She won't ever leave you if she can't.

You need to make a grand romantic gesture to keep her from leaving you, and the best way to say “don’t leave me” is to chain her to a radiator. That's right: Imprisonment can be romantic.

Keeping her as a captive girlfriend instead of a wife guarantees that she won’t go anywhere. If she runs away from your marriage, she gets half of your money. If she tries to run more...

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusementpark. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. Theride completed, she seemed rather bored. "What would you like to do next?" he asked. "I wanna be weighed," she said. So the young mantook her over to the weight guesser." One-twelve," said the man at the scale, and he wasabsolutely right. Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, hebought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then he askedwhat else she would like to do. "I wanna be weighed," she said. I really latched onto a square one tonight, thoughtthe young man, and using the excuse he had developed aheadache, he took the girl home. The girl's mother was surprised to see her home soearly, and asked, "What's wrong, dear, didn't you have anice time tonight?" "Wousy," said the girl.

The 2008 Presidential Election is right around the corner and Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has gained support from Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner.

Political experts believe this is payback for all the support Bill Clinton has given Playboy magazine and Hefner over the years.