Pleasure Jokes / Recent Jokes

Is sex work?
A priest, a minister and a rabbi were talking about whether sex was work, God`s work, or pleasure.
The priest says, "It is God`s work--to procreate and produce more creatures in his image."
The minister says, "It is a pleasure that God gave us, so that we could be fruitful and multiply."
The rabbi says "I`m not really sure, but I do know that if it was work my wife would hire someone to come in and do it for her."

A young man walks in on a bar and he ordered a beer. After a while, he notices there's a beer keg with a small hole says "Magic Beer Keg, insert 50 cents for pleasure." The young man asks the bertender what so magical with that beer keg.
He told the young men to insert 50 cents in the small hole and then insert his penis in it. He does as the bartender says and all of the sudden he feels someone is sucking his penis from inside the beer keg.
After he finishes his "pleasure", the young man compliments about it and the bartender asks if he wants to be the beer keg member so that he can do pleasure for free. The young man says "OK" and the bartender says "OK, tomorrow you got the shift inside that beer keg."

Ladies and gentlemen of so-called Y2K-compliant generation:

Wear radiation suits.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, radiation suits would be it. Let's face it: the ozone layer is being depleted at a rapid rate, and not even sunscreen can stop all the deadly waves. But the long-term benefits of heavy, lead-laden radiation suits have been proved in nuclear power plants everywhere, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering thoughts. I will dispense this advice...uh,...yeah, right about...now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of other people's youth. You will not understand the power and beauty of your OWN youth until it's faded. But trust me, in 40 years, you'll look back at young people and take great pleasure in asking them, "Help an old lady across the street, will ya?" or "Mind carrying my groceries, sonny?"

You are not as fat as you imagine...you'r probably WAY more...

Beer and the quotes it has helped create over the years...I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in themorning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.-Frank SinatraThe problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.-William Butler YeatsAn intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.-Ernest HemingwayAlways do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.-Ernest HemingwayYou're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.-Dean MartinDrunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.-AnonymousNo animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.-G.K. ChestertonTime is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.-Catherine ZandonellaAbstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.-Ambrose BierceReality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.-AnonymousDrinking provides a beautiful more...

There is a man and he finds out his wife is cheating on him because she isnt getting enough pleasure. He goes to a porno shop and tells him his problem. The man says he has just the thing for him, so he pulls out a box labeled Voo Doo Dick. He says watch this and opens the box and says, "voo doo dick, door!" so it jumps out of the box and start humping the keyhole. The guy buys it and takes it home to his wife. He tells her how to use it and goes to work. Later, his wife wants pleasure so she opens the box and says, "voo doo dick my pussy!" so it starts humping her like crazy. when she gets like 8 orgasms she wants to stop, but she doesnt know how, so she gets in her car and drives to the hospital, and on the way she has another orgasm and swerves all over the road. A police stops her and asks whats wrong, so she says that she has a voo doo dick in her pussy. The policeman says, "yeah right, voo doo dick my ass!"

The Gentleman had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied. The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face.
"Sir", she said; "The ladies restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms.
The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: "WW", "WA", and "PP", and there was one red button labeled "ATR".
Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the "WW" button. Warm Water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him.
The Men's more...

I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.

When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity.

Well, I'll see you in my dreams---if I eat too much.

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

You're the best at all you do---and all you do is make people hate you.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?

The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.

When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents.

All of your ancestors must number in the millions; its hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.

Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.

I hear more...