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A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, "Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight. Three plus four, that son of a bitch is seven...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

An anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever.

Note the word and then the re-arranged letters:

Dormitory... Dirty Room
Desperation... A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code... Here come Dots
Slot Machines... Cash Lost in' em
Animosity... Is No Amity
Mother-in-law... Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms... Alas! No More Z's
Alec Guinness... Genuine Class
Semolina... Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries... Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point... I'm a Dot in Place
Eleven plus two... Twelve plus one
Contradiction... Accord not in it
Astronomer... Moon Starer
Princess Diana... End Is A Car Spin
Year Two Thousand... A Year To Shut Down

A university committee was appointed to pick a new dean. The committee narrowed the candidates down to a mathematician, an economist and a lawyer. During each interview, the candidate was asked to answer the question, "How much is two plus two?"

The mathematician answered immediately, "Four."

The economist thought for several minutes and finally answered, "Four, plus or minus one."

When the lawyer was asked the question, he stood, looked around the room and motioned silently for the committee members to gather close to him. In a hushed, conspiratorial tone, he replied, "How much do you want it to be?"

Banta wanted to board his horse. The first farmer he asked said he would keep it at Rs 250 a day, plus he would keep the manure. Banta thought that was too high and went to another farmer. His price was Rs 200 per day plus he would get to keep the manure. Then he went to Santa who asked just Rs 50 a day. Banta asked, "Don`t you want to keep the manure?" Santa said, "At Rs 50 a day, there won`t be any!"

Little Leroy was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." At that moment, his mother came in and heard that he was cursing. "Leroy, what are you doing?! Why are you saying that?"
Little Leroy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
She said, "And is that what your teacher taught you?"
He replied, "Yes."
The next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving, goes to Little Leroy's school to talk to the teacher. The mother said to his Math teacher, "I would like to know what you are teaching my son in math." The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition problems." Little Leroy's mother asked, "Are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
When the teacher stopped laughing she replied, "Not at all! What I taught them more...

Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The shrink informs them that they will have to pass a simple test. Asking the first patient: Q. How much is two plus two? A: Blue. At which the kind doctor calls in the orderly to escort the patient back to his room. Turning to the second patient, he asks what is six minus three? To which the patient replies: Square. Once again the orderly is called in to remove the patient. Turning to the third and last patient, he asks, "How much is five plus five?" The patient answers very confidentally: Ten. The doctor, amazed then inquires how did you figure it out? The patient: "Easy.Blue multiplied by square equals ten."

Santa Heard His Son Reciting His Homework:
"Two Plus Two, The Son Of A Bitch Is Four; Four Plus Four, The Son Of A Bitch Is Eight; Eight Plus Eight, The Son Of A Bitch...`" "Shut Up! " Shouted Furoius Santa. "Watch Your Language! You`Re Not Allowed To Use The Swearwords".


"But, Dad," Replied The Boy, "That`S What The Teacher Taught Us, And She Said To Recite It Out Loud Till We Learned It."

Next Day Santa Went Right Into The Classroom To Complain.
"Oh, Heavens! " Said The Teacher. "That`S Not What I Taught Them.


They`Re Supposed To Say,

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`Two Plus Two, The Sum Of Which Is Four.` "