Polak Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Russian, a Frenchman and a Polak were lined up for a firing squad. Thinking fast, the Russian yelled "Flood!" The soldiers turned to look and the Russian escaped. Taking his cue, the Frenchman yelled, "Tornado!". Again the soldiers turned and the Frenchman escaped. Thinking he`s got the idea, the Polak yells "fire!"
Did you hear about the Polak that thought that asphalt was a rectal problem?
An Englishman, a Texan and a Polak are lost in the Nevada desert. After days without water or food they come upon a lamp half buried in the sand. They rub the lamp and out comes a genie. Since they all rubbed the lamp the genie grants each one a single wish.
The Texan goes first and wishes to be transported back to his house where his pool was filled with beautiful women. The genie claps his hands and the Texan vanishes in a flash of light.
The Englisman wishes to be transported back to his house where he knows his wife will be eagerly awaiting him. Once again the Genie claps his hands and the Englishman vanishes.
The Polak sits down and thinks about what he should wish for. Suddenly realizing he is all alone in the desert, he promptly wishes that the Texan and the Englishman were back.
What do you get when you cross a Polak and a monkey? Nothing monkeys are too smart to screw Polaks.
An American is walking down the street when he sees a Polak with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.
Seeing the Polak's ignorance, the American wrenches the pole out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long."
The Polak grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot American! I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"
Did you hear about the Polak that came home and found his wife in bed with another man, pulled out a gun and put it to his own head. His wife laughed. He says, "Don`t laugh, you`re next!"
Did you hear about the Polak that went to the flea market? He paid retail.