Polar Jokes / Recent Jokes
One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear are sitting in the snow.
The son polar bear turns to his father and asks, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?"
The father polar bear replies, "Of course, son, you're 100% polar bear."
A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns to his father again and says, "Dad, please tell me the truth. I can take it. Am I really 100% polar bear. No grizzly bear, or brown bear or panda bear?"
The father polar bear replies, "Son, I'm 100% polar bear, your mother is 100% polar bear, so you are definitely 100% genuine polar bear."
A few more minutes pass, and the son polar bear again turns to his father and says, "Dad, don't think you're sparing my feelings if it isn't true. I really have to know... am I 100% polar bear?"
The father polar bear is distressed by this continued questioning and asks his son, "Why do you keep asking if you're 100% polar more...
A polar bear walked into a bar and said
"Can I please have a gin and... tonic?"
The bartender replied "Sure, but why the large pause?"
"I don't know, I've always had them!"
A man, forced to live in an Eskimo village, is having a great deal of trouble interacting with the villagers. Finally, he corners one of them and asks why they are ignoring him.
The villager says that he has not been initiated as a man, so he asks what it is he must do in order to be initiated.
"First, you must drink two bottles of Russian Vodka," explains the villager. "You must then enter a cave and kill a polar bear with your bare hands. Finally, to seal your induction into manhood, you must make love with one of our women for eight hours straight."
The man agrees to carry out the requirements.
That night the villagers hold a big party to initiate him. Everyone sits around the fire and they pass him the first bottle of vodka. He drinks the first half of the bottle without too much trouble, but finds the second half a little more difficult. Finally, he finishes it and they hand him the second bottle. Somehow he manages to finish the second bottle more...
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. I'm all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear."
Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. I'm all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear."
Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. We're all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?"
The baby polar bears replies, "Because I'm f-ing freezing!"
How do you catch a polar bear?
You dig a hole in the ice and place peas all around it, and when the
polar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole!
Q: Do you know how to catch a polar bear with peas?
A: First, go out onto the edge of a frozen lake and cut a big hole in the ice. Then you place a circle of peas around the rim of the hole, and hide behind a nearby tree. When a polar bear comes to take a pea, jump out behind him and kick him in the ice-hole.
Q: How do you tell a brown bear from a grizzly bear?
A1: Climb a tree. If the bear climbs it and eats you, it’s a brown bear.
A2: If the bear knocks the tree down and eats you, it’s a grizzly.
Q: Which bear did not get wet?
A: The dribear.
Q: Which bear saw the accident?
A: The neighbear.
Q: Which bear came out of the car safely?
A: The surbibear.
Q: Which bear fixed the car?
A: The Macguybear.
Q: what's white, furry, and shaped like a tooth?
A: a molar bear!