Policemen Jokes / Recent Jokes
In Heaven:
The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss.In Hell:
The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian.In Computer Heaven:
The management is from Intel, The design and construction is done by Apple, The marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, Gateway determines the pricing.In Computer Hell:
The management is from Apple, Microsoft does design and construction, IBM handles the marketing, The support is from Gateway, Intel sets the price.
In Heaven:
The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.
In Hell:
The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.
In Computer Heaven:
The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.
In Computer Hell:
The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and construction,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5, 000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
The driver thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license." The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he shoots his mouth off when he's drunk and stoned."
The guy from the back seat then shouted, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
Dad and Dave were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.
'You were going eighty!' the officer yelled. "What's the big idea?"
"We have a good reason," Dave explained to the cop. "Our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get home quickly before we had an accident!"
How many Arkansas policemen does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Clinton does all the screwing!
Two military policemen were chasing a fleeing draftee from The military base. The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent where a nun Was seated on a round bench beneath a tree quietly reading a book. He said to her "quick sister, please hide me I don't want to be Drafted and the m.p.'s are chasing me!"
She lifted up her skirts and said hide under my skirt. The two policemen came By and asked if she had seen anyone. She replied "no"
After they left she told the young boy to come out all was OK He said you have a nice set of legs for a nun!
She replied if you reach up a Little farther you'll find a set of balls! I'm not going to be drafted either!
Two policemen are walking down the road. One says to the other, "When I get home, I'm going to rip my wife's knickers." "Why are you going to that?" asks his colleague. "Because the elastic has been killing me all day."