Polish Jokes / Recent Jokes

Old Andrzej was a minister in a small Polish town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions Andrzej would like to ask.

Old Andrzej did not need much time to consider, and the first question was:' Will there ever be married Catholic priests?'

God promptly replied:' Not in your life-time.'

Andrzej thought for a while, and then came up with the second question:' what about female priests then, will we have that one day?'

Again God had to disappoint Old Andrzej:' Not in your life-time, I'm afraid.'

Andrzej was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the subject. After having though for a while, he asked the last question:' Will there ever be another Polish pope?'

God answered quickly and with a firm voice,' Not in My life time.'

Q: What's the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union? A: Every man for himself.

Q: What's delaying the Polish space program? A: Development of a working match.

This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his doctor and says, "I've just got to marry this woman, I love her so much..."So the doctor says, "Well, it's risky, but okay." So into the operating room they go for the brain removal procedure. Later, when the German guy wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, "We are verrrryyyy sorry, but we accidentally removed 75% of your brain instead of 50%." The guy looks up and says, "Mama Mia!"

A Polish woman goes to the doctor. She tell the doctor that she hurts all over. So the doctor tells her to touch her chest. She does and screams with pain. He tells her to touch her knee. She does, and again screams with pain. He now tells her to touch her arm. And yet again screams from pain. Finally the doctor says, "You have a broken finger."

Did you hear about the Polish used car dealer? He was caught setting the gas gages back.

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got
stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle
of nowhere:
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
H. 2 American men and 1 American woman
I. 2 Iranian men and 1 Iranian woman

One month later, on various parts of the island,
the following was observed:
A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for
the Italian woman.
B. The two French men and the French woman are
living happily together.
C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule
of when they alternate with the German woman.
D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the
Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.
E. The two Polish men took a more...