Politicians Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two--one to screw it in, and a second to hand out leaflets.
Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes him about 30 years to realize that the old one has burnt out.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the seeds of revolution and change are within the lightbulb itself.
Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1, 000, 001: One to change the bulb and 1, 000, 000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
Q: How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
Note: topical to the Falkland Islands war.
Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10, 000 - to give the bulb a cultural more...
A fool and his money are asked to go everywhere! A fool and his money are soon elected. A fool and his money are soon popular. A fool and his money is my kind of customer! If money's the root of all evil, why do churches want it? All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy. Come to Florida, bring money, BUT GET THE HECK OFF OUR BEACH! Even the blind can see money. Expert - Someone who knows less, but makes more money. It's not the money I want, it's the stuff. Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. Money burns a hole in my pocket... how about yours? Money is like an arm or leg, use it or lose it. Money is the root of all bills. Money may buy "friendship," but it cannot buy love. Money Talks - and it usually says NO!! Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you money. Political Motto: I had some morals; sold them for money. This country has the best politicians money can buy. Time and Money. Two things we don't have enough of.... Turbo-Tax took money out of more...
Politicians and diapers should be changed often, for the same reason.
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.
Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field. The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer's field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he'd gone ahead and buried all of them. "Were they ALL dead?" asked the puzzled sheriff. "Well, some of them said they weren't," said the old farmer, "but you know how them politicians lie."
Q: What do cannibals make out of politicians?
A: Bologna sandwiches.
I went to a market in a country in the deep dark Africa. There were some human brains for sale on a refrigerated shelf. The brains were from engineers, docters, businessmen, politicians etc. The cheapest was that of an engineer whereas the politicians brain was the most expesive! I was surprised and asked the reason from the salesman. He said that when they kill one engineer they get a large quantity of brain whereas they had to kill hundreds of politicians to find one ounce of brain, hence the high price!