Popcorn Jokes / Recent Jokes

How many men does it take to make pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

THINGS TO DO AT A BORING MOVIE:
1. Wear a top hat and make sure you sit in front of kids.
2. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
3. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
4. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
5. Make a noise like your passing gas and go, "Ahhh..."
6. Starting wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juicy Fruits for your asthma.
7. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
8. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devoius, say, "Watch out!"
9. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
10. Tell the man selling popcorn that the girls bathroom is flooding.
11. Yell out what is going to happen.
12. Tell the man next to you that you have diarrhea and wink while smiling.
13. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Ha ha ha" and run away.
14. Yell, "Fire" and moon the more...

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.
Handing the attendant $1. 50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.."

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.""Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.."

President Ronald Regan told this joke about Fidel Castro: Castro was addressing a large audience in Cuba, and he began, "They accuse me of intervening in Angola..." and a man going through the audience called out, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"Castro went on: "They say I’m intervening in Mozambique..." and the same loud voice shouted, "Peanuts! Popcorn! Castro continued: "They say I’m intervening in Nicaragua..." and the voice yelled again, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"By this time Castro was boiling mad and he sputtered, "Bring that man who is shouting' Peanuts! Popcorn!' to me, and I’ll kick him all the way to Miami." And everybody in the audience started shouting, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"

The Week Before Christmas
'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the school
Not a pupil was silent, no matter what rule.
The children were busy with paper and paste
The mess that they made with it couldn't be faced.
The teacher half frantic and almost in tears,
Had just settled down to work with her dears,
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter
up sprang the kids to see what was the matter!
Away to the door they all flew like a flash
The one who was leading went down with a crash.
Then what to their wondering eyes did appear
But a green Christmas tree! (To decorate I fear!)
When the teacher saw this, she almost grew sick.
She knew in a moment it must be Old Nick!
She ran to the door (all her efforts were vain)
But she shouted, and stamped, and she called them by name
''Now Tommy! Now Sandy, Now Judy and Harry!
Stop Billy! Stop Robert! Stop Donny and Sherry!
Now get to your places get away more...

Q: Why are men like popcorn?
A: They satisfy you, but only for a little while.