Potato Jokes / Recent Jokes
New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90`s
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn`t work out obsessively.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation`s answer to the couch potato.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people`s heads pop up over the walls to see what`s going on.
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for more...
there was a blonde, brunett, and a black haired girl. thay just robbed a bank and was runing from the cops.the brunett jumped in a bag that said cat, the black haired girl jumped into a bag that said dog, and the blonde jumped into a bag that said potatos. The cops came and kicked the bag that said cat and she goes,"meeow."then they kicked the bag that said dog and she said,"woof woof!"then they kicked the bag that said potato and she says,"po-taaa-toooooo"
The Bachelor DietMondayBreakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallowsome toothpaste while brushing your teethLunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers"- those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime butnow cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, abowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on theway back for a family size bottle of maalox. Afternoon Snack - Drink the maaloxDinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chickenthree-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw. TuesdayBreakfast - Eat the coleslawLunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninetyfive cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eatwhatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea. Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's. WednesdayBreakfast - Jaws couldn't eat Breakfast after a night atEl Flasho'sLunch - Rolaids and a cokeDinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg forscrapsThursdayBreakfast - Order out for pizzaLunch - Your more...
Vito and VladimirThere were two guys who wanted to pick up women on a beach. One was Italian (Vito) and the other was Russian (Vladimir). Vito had no problem picking up gorgeous women; he was the most popular guy on the beach. But Vladimir had no success. Vladimir: "Vito! How do you do it? How do you attract so many beautiful women?" Vito: "Well, I'll tell ya! But it's a secret. . just between you and me. I don't want my system to become too public." Vladimir: "OK. It's a deal." Vito: "You see those potatoes over there? Well, every time I come to the beach I take one and put it in my Speedo. When the women see it, they come running from miles around." Vladimir: "That's it? I can do that." The next day, Vladimir went over to the produce stand and picked out the biggest, most perfectly shaped potato he could find. He then went into the changing room and slipped it into his Speedo. As he walked out onto the beach, he immediately noticed more...
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette. They all decided to go to the bar and they got fake ids cause they were underage.
So they go in and the bartender knows they are underage so he call the cops. The readhead informs the girls that the bartender has called the cops and they have to leave.
So they go out the back door and they see this barn. They go inside and the redhead notices 3 potato sacks on the floor.
See tells the girls to each hide in a potato sack. Then the police arrive in the bar, and the bartender takes them out back to look around.
They go into the barn and look everywhere. One cop says "They might be in those potato sacks". So he kicks the first one containing the redhead and hears "woof woof". "That's a dog" he thinks to himself.
He kicks the second bag containing the brunette and hears "Meow, meow" "Well that must be a cat" he thinks.
Finally, he more...
John liked to frequent the Newfoundland beaches but never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend Garge the lifeguard for advice.
It's them big baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old fish. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yrself a pair of Speedos -' bout two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside them. I'm tellin' ya bye, you'll have all the babes you want!
The following weekend, John hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potatoe. Everybody on the beach is disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces snickering, turning away, most laughing, some even looking a little sick!
John goes back to Garge the lifeguard and asks him, "What the devil is wrong now?
"Lard-Tunderin Jeezus Bye!"said Garge, "the potato goes in the front!"