Powerful Jokes / Recent Jokes

Google maybe the most powerful search engine
but, it can’t search,
.
.
the chappals u lost at the temple.

We're off to see the wizard....

The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."

"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"

Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well..,Well.., Well.., I. .. think I need a brain".

"DONE" says the Wizard. "WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"

Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."

"I'VE HEARD ITS TRUE." says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."

Then there is a great silence in the hall. more...

A kid was sitting on the side of the road. He was hold a bottle when a priest came up to him and asked what he had.
The kid replied, "Turpentine - The most powerful thing in the universe." The priest looked in awe and said, "Son the most powerful thing in the universe is holy water, If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly she'll pass a baby boy."
The kid look up in bewilderment and said, "Shit, you rub this on a cat's ass and it will pass a motorcycle."

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, its called turpentine."
The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water, If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby boy."
The little boy replied, "Shoot, that ain't nothin'. You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's butt and he'll pass a motorcycle."

THE DEAN

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God

THE DEPARTMENT HEAD

Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God

PROFESSOR

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honored

ASSISTANT PROFESSOR

Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Treads water
Talks to animals

INSTRUCTOR

Climbs walls continually
Rides the rails
Plays Russian more...

The real interpretation of corportate titles: CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: Leaps tall building in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Discusses policy with GodPRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks with GodEXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB. Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool Talks with God if special request is approvedVICE PRESIDENT: Barely clears a Quonset hut Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive Can fire a speeding bullet Swims well Is occasionally addressed by GodGENERAL MANAGER: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings Is run over by locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Dog paddles Talks to animalsMANAGER: Runs into more...

Conductor:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to God.

Concertmaster:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if sea is calm.
Talks with God.

Oboist:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if special request is approved.