Prediction Jokes

I'm trying to be optimistic, but I'm pretty sure this news is going to overshadow my prediction for the coming year, which is that there will be a "mass emailing" late in 2007. My prediction also involves terrorists, but my terrorists are much less concerned about religious extremism and much more concernced about erectile dysfunction.
Much like Pat Robertson, Jesus told me that this would happen. And then he tried to sell me a bottle of Adderol for $1.27. What a ripoff! Buddha totally undercut him with an amazing offer of $0.78 for a crate. It's like I always say, when you get deities competing in a free market, everybody wins.

A low cost budget film crew was shooting on an Indian Reservoir beach about natural psychic abilities of ancient American Indians.
Suddenly an Indian shows up, walks to the Director and says, “Tomorrow wind Storm, No shooting please. “ Sure enough a storm came and Director saved lots of money.
A few days later, again shooting preparedness was made and the Indian shows up. “Tomorrow hurricane, no shooting please. ” Sure enough a hurricane came and Director saved the money.
The amazing accurate predictive ability of the Indian on snow, rain, ice, blizzard, lightning, thunderstorm, was financially benefiting the Director that he got fond of him.
Now he was reaching towards the climax of the important shooting and waiting for the Indian to come and predict the weather.
The Indian was no where to be found. So he personally went looking for him and found him in a stinking smoking chimney hut.
He went inside, bowed to him in a manners of their ancient more...

A long time ago, in Communist Russia, there was a famous weather man named Rudolf.
He's always had a 100% accuracy rate for his forecasts of the Russian weather conditions. His people loved him and
respected him for his faultless foresight. He was particularly good at predicting rain. One night, despite clear skies, he made the prediction on the 6: 00pm news broadcast that a violent storm was approaching. It would flood the town in which he and his wife lived. He warned the people to take proper precautions and prepare for the worst.
After he arrived home later that evening, his wife met him at the door and started arguing with him that his weather prediction was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. This time, she said, he had made a terrible mistake. There
wasn't a cloud anywhere within 10 miles of the village. As a matter of fact, that day had been the most beautiful day that the town had ever had and it was quite obvious to everyone it simply wasn't more...