Presidential Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is the FBI summary of a conversation that took place this week
between President Clinton and Ashley, a brand new intern in the
White House.
Ashley walked into the White House for her first day of her
internship and was greeted by the President. After a short tour of the
White House the President asked, "How would you like to see the
Presidential Clock?"
Ashley looked troubled and said "I don't know Mr. President. I
have heard some pretty bad things about you. I don't think that would
be a good idea."
"Nonsense" said the President. "It's just a clock." Ashley
agreed and the President led her into the Oval Office where they were
alone. He closed the door, dropped his pants, and pulled it out. Ashley
gasped.
"Oh that's not the Presidential Clock, that's the Presidential
Cock!"
To which the President responded, "Ashley, honey, once you put a
face and two hands on more...

What does cunnilingus have in common with a presidential debate??
One slip of the toungue and you're in deep shit.

Buenos Aires (SatireWire.com) — In an effort to fill its depleting ranks of potential leaders, Argentina's Congress today implemented a nationwide draft that requires all citizens age 18 and over to serve as the country's president for a minimum of two days.
Implementation of the presidential draft is expected to reduce turnover in the position by 50 percent. The decision, however, caused violent unrest in the country of 39 million, as hordes of potential conscripts protested outside government offices.
"I love my country, but it is not fair to ask me to sacrifice my future to serve as president," said 19-year-old Manuel Rodriguez, whose low draft number, 0434, makes it likely he will be called up sometime in early 2005.
The nation's mothers, meanwhile, joined in the protests. "Please do not take my baby away!" cried Maria Esconvida, a housewife from Cordoba. "Take me instead!"
Congressional leaders quickly swore her in before she could more...

Presidential debates, to me, are like muppets jerking off. There are alot of funny sounds and the fur flies, but in the end nothing is going to come out.

Outgoing U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan gave a farewell address in Missouri, where the audience was packed – perhaps with people trying to get their first glimpse of a black man.

Annan chose to speak at the Truman Presidential Library to contrast the presidential styles of Harry Truman, who ended a just war using the bomb, with George W. Bush, whose war ended up just bombing.

A career statesman, Annan used judicious language in his criticism of the Bush administration. Here then is a dictionary of diplomatic doublespeak:

When Annan said, “America must not sacrifice its democratic ideals while waging war against terrorism,” he meant, “The President is a douchebag.”

When Annan said, “No nation can make itself secure by seeking supremacy over all others,” he meant, “No seriously, he’s a douchebag.”

And when Annan concluded, “The U.S. has a special responsibility to the world because it continues to have extraordinary more...