Prison Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dr. Kevorkian was realeased from a Michigan prison Friday after serving an 8 year sentence for second degree murder.
The proponent of assisted suicide for the termially ill maintained his stance saying he still believes a quick death is better than a long slow painful death for those with no hope.

Dr. Kervorkian has been contacted by the New York Yankees

A new survey has found that 69.1 percent of all professional athletes live a luxurious lifestyle. The other 30.9 percent are in prison.

Men's brains are like prison system: not enough cells per man.

A homeless, mentally ill woman has been released from a Louisiana jail after a clerical mistake kept her there for six months. Just in case you were ever wondering whatever happened to Sinead O'connor.

On their honeymoon night, the bride turns to her husband and says, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and don't know anything about sex, so I'm a little nervous. Would you explain it to me first?"
"Sure, Sweetheart," the husband replies. "Putting it simply, we'll call your private place 'the prison', and we'll call my private thing 'the prisoner'. What we do is this... we put the prisoner in the prison."
They then make love for the first time. Afterwards, the husband sprawls out on the bed, face up, with a look of satisfaction on his face.
A few minutes later, the bride nudges him and giggles, "Honey, the prisoner seems to have escaped."
He turns on his side and with a big grin, says, "Well, we'll just have to re-imprison him."
After making love the second time, the husband rolls over and reaches for a cigarette. The wife, however, is thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love. Giving him a seductive smile, more...

A Virginia inmate tried to sue himself for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted the state to pay the $5 million.

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A San Quentin death row inmate sued California, claiming his civil rights were violated because his packages were sent via UPS rather than the U. S. Postal Service.

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An Oklahoma inmate alleged his religious freedoms were violated but could not say just how, because the main tenet of his faith was that all its practices were secret.

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A Nevada inmate sued when he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter at the Nevada State Prison canteen and received one chunky and one creamy.

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An Ohio inmate sued for being denied possession of soap on a rope.

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A convicted New York rapist sued the state, claiming he lost sleep and more...

I'm picturing lovely ribbons winding like candy canes down the iron
bars, and useful storage containers she's built that glide easily below
her bunk bed in which she'll store sheets and linens from K-Mart's
going-out-of-business sale.
The lone toilet will be transformed into a bouquet spilling over with
toilet paper flowers, into which a trickling cascade of water will flow
from the sink in a bird bath-like fashion, in an effort to attract sparrows
through the open bars of her window.
Once trapped in her cell, the sparrows will be slowly roasted with
matches for which Martha will have gotten by beating up her cellmate.
They will be stuffed with acorns found in the prison courtyard. I hear
it's Martha's intention to collect enough birds to offer a Thanksgiving
feast to all those who continue to subscribe to her magazine, even
while in prison, although she has asked that each of them commit
to a year of service as part of her newly more...