Prize Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun.

He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and after trying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he had scored three bullseyes. The star prize for the evening was a large set of glassware, but the showman was certain that the drunk wasn't aware of what he had done, and gave him instead a consolation prize, a turtle.

The drunk wandered off into the crowd. An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than before. Once again the showman demurred, but once again the drunk insisted, and once more scored three bullseyes and was given another turtle.

Eventually the drunk rolled more...

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing? ”
The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize. ”
“How? ” asks the man, puzzled.
“Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize. . . to people who are out standing in their field. ”

Banta And His Colleagues Were At Work One Day When They Decided To Get In On The Weekly Raffle. They Bought Tickets, Seeing It Was For Charity.
The Following Week, When The Raffle Was Drawn, They Each Won A Prize.
His Colleague Who Won The First Prize Got Six Month's Supply Of Cadbury's Chocolates.
Second Prize Winner Got Three Month's Supply Of Cadbury's Chocolates.
Banta Won The Tenth Prize - A Toilet Brush.
About A Week Later, At The Office Canteen, The First Prize Winner Asked The Others How They Were Enjoying Their Prizes.
"Great," Said The The Seond Prize Winner, "I Love Chocolates"
"So Do I," Said The First Prize Winner. "And How's The Toilet Brush?" He Asked Banta
"Not So Good," Banta Said, "I Think i'll Go Back To Paper."

Herolal is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway, when he spots Bhola standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Bhola is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Herolal gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Bhola and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?"
Bhola replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks Herolal, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

From Dick Reboulet, circa 1966:
A prize bull and a prize cow got together and decided they'd have a little
prize calf. So they did. When he was born, they decided he'd have the
best of everything-food, education,... So they kept him in a little
compound separated from the hoi polloi. But as he reached puberty, he
looked out through the chain-link fence at all the cows out there, and
drooled. He would back up to the far corner of his pen, and study the
top of the barbed-wire topped fence. He always concluded he couldn't
make it. But one day, he decided he was big and strong enough. He backed
up to the farthest corner, and ran like hell. He jumped over the fence,
and made it, almost. Just then, papa bull came ambling along the fence
line, noticed his son bleeding, noticed what was hanging on the barbed
wire atop the fence, noticed his son bleeding... At last he consoled
his son: Don't worry, son, you can always be a consultant.

There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn’t afford to feed it. He’d never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50, 000.
All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine. He’s carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant, swings the bat, and crunches the elephants balls pretty badly. Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out the $50,
000. Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover the prize, so he ran another contest.
He’d never seen an elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, “no. ” Same deal as before: $10 per entry, $50, 000 prize. Lots of people try and fail. Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out his bat, and walks up to the more...

Herolal is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway, when he spots Bhola standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Bhola is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Herolal gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Bhola and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Bhola replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Herolal, puzzled. "Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field."