Pronounce Jokes / Recent Jokes

you have a 'barrel man' in your house, you may be filipino...(you know.. the wooden man... when you lift up the barrel----schwing!!!) you wash your clothes by hand, you might be Filipino. you use walis tambo and walis ting-ting, you just might be Filipino. you nail all photographs on your walls in the living room, you're a Filipino. you have a very good sense of maniana habit, you might be Filipino. you smoke in your house you put up your knee while eating you eat kanin and ulam using your hand you are pakialamero you say Sugarol, babaero at tumador you are chismosa you say Comfort Room instead of Restroom. you say For Take Out instead of to go. you point w/ your lips, then you might be a Filipino. you say open or close the lights, then you might be a Filipino. you nod upwards to greet someone, you might be a Filipino. your nickname is 'boy', you might be a Filipino. you ask for a Colgate instead of toothpaste, you might be a Filipino. you say 'Canteen' instead of cafeteria, then you more...

A man and his wife were driving through the beautiful Welsh countryside one day
when they came across a roadsign which read
''Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch'' (The longest town-
name in the world). The husband says the name and his wife laughs. ''That's not
how you pronounce it'', she says and proceeds to say it herself. Her husband
nearly crashes the car laughing and they start debating how to pronounce the
name.
Well the debate soon becomes an argument and coming up to lunchtime they pull
into a restaurant in the town whose name is the subject of the argument. As
they're settling their bill, the wife says to the cashier, ''Excuse me, but
would you mind settling an argument between my huband and me? Could you
possibly pronounce the name of where we are, only please do it very very
slowly''.
The cashier leans forward and more...

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
You can identify an Ohio accent.
Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown.
You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
The Big Mac is something that you drive across.
You believe that "down south" means Toledo.
You bake with soda and drink pop.
You drive 86 on the highway and you pass on the right.
Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.
You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.
You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."
The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance.
You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
You expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale.
You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell.
Your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, more...

A man and his wife were driving their RV across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:
"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."
The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."

There were these two Canadians vacationing in Mississippi. On
the highway they pass a sign that says you are now entering
Cashinaflash. The two get into a fight about how to pronounce it
as they decide to stop for lunch.
They walk into a resteaunt and go up to the blond cashier and
say, "Before we order I want you to slowly pronounce the name of
this place." The blond leans over the counter and says,
"Buuurrr-guurrr Kiiiinnnggg."