Prostitute Jokes / Recent Jokes

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took$300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table." Thanks," she said. "But I only charge $20." "Twenty bucks for the entire night?" the amazed MP replied. "You can'tmake a living on that." "Oh, don't worry," the whore replied. "I do a little blackmail on the side!"

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up' prostitute.' The definition reads:' A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay.'
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up' panda.' The definition reads:' An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'

What is the difference between humor and odor?
Humor is a shift of wit.
What is the difference between a rich man and a poor man?
A rich man has a canopy over his bed.
What is the difference between a snake and a goose?
A snake is an asp in the grass.
What is the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
A rooster says cock-a-doodle do.
What is the difference between a girls track team and a band of Austrailian Aboriginies?
The Austrailian Aboriginies are a bunch of cunning runts.
What is the difference between a prostitute with diharreha and an epileptic Nebraska cornhusker?
The epileptic Nebraska cornhusker has fits before he shucks.
What is the longest thing on earth?
A womans leg. It goes from earth to heaven.

A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She's worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I'm worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she's 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been in business? Girlfriend: She's been working since she was 19 years old but what does that have to do with anything? Doctor: Well she's been working 17 years and hasn't rejected an organ yet!

There was a koala bear who was approached by a prostitute one day. He had never been with a prostitute before. Curious and excited, Koala spent the night with her and had a GREAT time...
The next morning, he went down on her one last time before departing. After he's done, Koala headed for the door and was about to leave when the prostitute yelled, "hey...what about my money?"
Confused, the koala turned around, gave her a puzzled look, shrugging his shoulders, and replied "Huh?"
"Come here..." she said and pulled a dictionary out of her purse. She pointed to the word "prostitute" and its definition: "has sex and gets paid."
Finally understanding, the koala borrowed her dictionary, turned to the word koala and showed her its definition: "eats bush and leaves."

A prostitute visited a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.
Concerned about her friend's welfare, the prostitute went up to the surgeon and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"
The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health, apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"
The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"

A prostitute was visiting a colleague who was in the hospital to undergo a heart transplant.
Concerned about her friend's wellbeing, the prostitute spoke with the surgeon. "Doctor, I'm concerned about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?" she asked.
"Well, apart from her heart, she's 32 years old and is in extremely good health," replied the surgeon. "How long has she been in the business?"
"She's been working since the age of 18, but what does that have to do with anything?" the friend inquired.
"If she's been working for 14 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I doubt she's about to start now!" replied the surgeon.