Prostitute Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two potatoes are walking down the street. One of them is a prostitute. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?
It's the one that says 'I-Da-Ho.'

Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi's and coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and thebar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and asks her why she is drinking one Barcardi and coke and throwing the other one down her panties. She replies, "I just won the lottery and that's theonly cunt getting a drink out of me tonight!"

A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.

The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was going to perform the operation and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"

The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health, apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"

The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea.

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are more...

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute will stop screwin' you once your dead!

A koala enters a popular tavern in Melbourne and sits down at the bar. It isn`t long after he`s sipping on a martini when he`s approached by a prostitute. She sits down next to him and asks him if he`d like to have sex with her in the back room. Being a typical male, the koala complies and follows the slut to the back room. He wails away on her and then returns to the bar. He grabs his coat and heads for the door.
He doesn`t quite make it out before the hooker asks him where he is going and when he intended on paying her for the sex. She tells him to look up the word "prostitute" in the dictionary.
It read "prostitute-one who receives money for sex"
The koala then hands the dictionary to the prostitute and tells her to look up "koala."
It read "koala-a member of the marsupial family who eats bush and leaves."

The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting withher young charges and she asked them what they wanted to bewhen they grew up. A twelve-year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When theyrevived her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped,"What did you say?"The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute.""A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said, "Oh, praise sweetJesus! And I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant."