Punjab Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa Singh got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates.
One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, 'Why are you outstanding! Please income.'

Our sardar, one day is at the railway ation. He asks one man "when will rajdhani express go from here"? man replies 10. 10. "when will punjab express go from here"? man replies 10. 10. "when will deccan queen go from here"? man replies 10. 20. Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not. sardar replies, "no. I only want to cross the tracks!"

*Madam:*


I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen

your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on
you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside
Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing
hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am a
fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start
running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce alot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly.
I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am
always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get
on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not
drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. more...

Lady to Punjab Police Inspector: Ji mera pati 5 din pehla gobhi len gaya si ajey tak wapis nahi aaya.
Punjab Police Inspector: Taa fer koi hor sabji bana lao.

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
.. . . .. . . . . .. . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.

BANTA SINGH happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with two men ahead of him.
"Ek Punjab Mail dena" (give me one for the Punjab Mail), demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh, "Ikk Punjab female
dena.". ,
"What do you mean by Punjab female? "asked the cierk.
"It is for my wife," replied Banta Singh.

The phone rings at Punjab Police headquaters. They answer: "Hello?"
"Hello, Is that the Punjab Police?"
"Yes. What do you want?'
"I'm calling to report my neighbour Santa Singh as an enemy of the
state. He is hiding diamonds in his firewood."
"This will be noted."
Next day, the Punjab Police goons come over to Santa Singh's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Santa Singh and leave.
The phone rings at Santa Singh's house. He answers,"Hello."
"Hello Santa! Did the Punjab Police come?"
"Did they chop your firewood?'
"Yes they did."
"O. K., now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."