Punjab Jokes / Recent Jokes
Punjab Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0. 0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar, the more...
Three police squads, The Scotland Yard police, The NY Police and the Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward. The judges lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission. He who captures an adult LIon and brings it back alive in the fastest time will be adjudged the best. First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes back in half an hour with a Lion all tied up. Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion. Lastly the sardar brigade goes in. 15 minutes, half an hour, one hour goes and no sign of our saradrjis. The judges give up and decide to search for them. They go into the forest. After some searching, they find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree. The sardarjis have tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting, "Bol tu sher Hai! Saala Bol! tu Sher Hai! ! " (Admit that you are a lion! You @#$%@! You are a lion
Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station. He asks one man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here"? Man Replies 12. 30. "When will Punjab Express go from here"? Man Replies 10. 30. "When will Deccan Queen go from here"? Man Replies 12. 30. Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not. Sardar replies, "NO. I only want to cross the tracks!"
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.
This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to
Punjab Airways. We apologize for the four day delay in taking off,
owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery.
This is flight one two six flight to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination.
(I presume that the other 50% were the terrorists themselves!!!)
For the ones that don't quiet make it, Punjab Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our
Stewardesses Bubbly and Goldie will be happy to brief you on more...
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
This is your captain banta singh welcoming you to
Punjab airways. We apolize for the four day delay in taking off,
Owing to bad weather and some overtime i had put in at the bakery.
This is flight one two six flight to new delhi.
Landing in delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in
The east. And if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your
Village!
Punjab airways has an excellent record for safety.
In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are
Afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure i announce that starting
This year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination.
(i presume that the other 50% were the terrorists themselves!!!)
For the ones that don't quiet make it, punjab airways staff have all
The requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our
Stewardesses bubbly and goldie will be happy to more...
Ashok is standing on platform no. 1 waiting for Punjab Mail to arrive. There is an announcement, "Passengers to note train number 234 Down Punjab Mail from New Delhi will be arriving on Platform number 1 shortly."
Hearing this Ashok gets panicky. He immediately picks up his baggage, jumps on to the railway track and stands there.
A young ventriloquist is touring North India and stops to entertain a gathering in Punjab. He's going through his usual stupid sardar jokes (similar to the ones in the Sirippu web site!), when a big burly sardar in the audience stands up and says "I've heard just about enough of your silly sardar jokes; we aren't all stupid here in Punjab." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the big guy pipes up "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to the stupid little fellow on your knee!"