Pupil Jokes / Recent Jokes

Pupil: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!

Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you!

What did Noah do for a job?
He was an arkitecht!

What’s that fly doing in my gravy?
Looks like the breast stroke!

Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
Pupil: At launch time!

Father: You were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!

Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What’s a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

My teacher reminds me of history
She’s always repeating herself!

A math joke
Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems?
Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!

When were King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
When they had lots of sleepless knights!

How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!

How did you do in your tests?
I did what George Washington did!

Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Fred’s test paper.
Pupil: I hope you didn’t see me either!

Teacher: You copies from Fred’s exam paper didn’t you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred’s paper says “I don’t know” and you have put “Me, neither”!

What was Camelot famous for?
It’s knight life!

Teacher: Name an animal that lives in the tundra.
Pupil:A reindeer.
Teacher: Good, now name another one.
Pupil: Another reindeer.

Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
Pupil: I don’t know, my TV doesn’t pick it up

Teacher: This is the third time I’ve had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it’s Friday!

Teacher: Didn’t you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!

What tables don’t you have to learn?
Dinner tables!

Why was the headmaster worried?
Because there were too many rulers in school!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February…!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing

Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don’t know, they haven’t taught us how to read yet!

Where did knights learn to kill dragons?
At knight school!