Pupil Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?
Because he was dead!
What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old?
A year older on his birthday!
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to add to your already heavy workload. An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: My little sister ate it!
Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: It’s three in the afternoon!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked
Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
Pupil: What?, and get bitten!
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn’t you?
Pupil: Not very much!
A history joke
When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat?
He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row!
A history joke
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
I don’t know, I wasn’t invited!
A history joke
What did they wear at the Boston Tea Party?
T-Shirts!
Teacher: "Give me a sentence with an object."
Pupil: "You're very beautiful, teacher."
Teacher: "What's the object?"
Pupil: "A good grade!"
Father: I hear you skipped school to play football
Son: No I didn’t, and I have the fish to prove it!
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Pupil: At night.
Teacher: Why did you say that?
Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn’t built in a day!
What did the Sheriff of Nottingham say when Robin fired at him?
That was an arrow escape!
A history joke
What did the ghost of Queen Elizabeth say as it floated into the terrified woman’s bedroom?
Don’t worry, I’m just passing through!
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn’t know where the Rockies were.
Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?
Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can’t see!
A history joke
Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich?
Because the poor didn’t have anything worth stealing!
Teacher: You’re new here aren’t you, what’s your name?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
A history joke
Why did Eve want to move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple!
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
A math joke
I failed every subject except for algebra.
How did you keep from failing that?
I didn’t take algebra!
A history joke
Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII?
She was trying to get ahead!
A history joke
What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne?
Sat down!
A math joke
Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I’m no good at math!
What are the small rivers that run into the Nile?
The juve-niles!
Teacher: What are the Great Plains?
Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16!
Son: I can’t go to school today. Father: Why not?
Son: I don’t feel well
Teacher: Where don’t you feel well?
Son: In school!
A history joke
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?
He liked to chop and change!
Teacher: I’ll call you Fred Smith then.
Pupil: My dad won’t like that.
Teacher: Why is that?
Pupil: He doesn’t like people taking the Mickey out of my name!