Pussy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A priest was hearing confessions one afternoon when a man entered and confessed: "Bless me, Father for I have sinned. I slept with Pussy Green."
The priest gave him absolution and told him his pennance and the man went away. The next man entered the confessional and said: "Bless me father for I have sinned, I slept with Pussy Green."
The priest thought about this coincidence, dismissed it, and gave the man his absolution and pennance.
However, over the course of the afternoon, 10 men confessed to sleeping with Pussy Green. This was very perplexing to the priest. As he was closing up the church later in the afternoon with the help of an alter boy, the priest noticed a woman walking down the church isle.
This woman was all decked out in green - green hat, green boots, green dress, green hand-bag.
The priest turned and asked to alterboy, "Is that Pussy Green?"
The alterboy looked and replied, "I don't think so, Father, I think it more...

There is a man and he finds out his wife is cheating on him because she isnt getting enough pleasure. He goes to a porno shop and tells him his problem. The man says he has just the thing for him, so he pulls out a box labeled Voo Doo Dick. He says watch this and opens the box and says, "voo doo dick, door!" so it jumps out of the box and start humping the keyhole. The guy buys it and takes it home to his wife. He tells her how to use it and goes to work. Later, his wife wants pleasure so she opens the box and says, "voo doo dick my pussy!" so it starts humping her like crazy. when she gets like 8 orgasms she wants to stop, but she doesnt know how, so she gets in her car and drives to the hospital, and on the way she has another orgasm and swerves all over the road. A police stops her and asks whats wrong, so she says that she has a voo doo dick in her pussy. The policeman says, "yeah right, voo doo dick my ass!"

Q: have you ever had pussy around your kneck?
A: oh so you were a cesarian baby huh?

Old Indian Trick
A Cowboy riding down the trail encounters an Indian laying on the trail with hard on. The Cowboy
asks "what are you doing?" Indian says" Me tellum time." Cowboy shakes his head, rides on,
encounters another exactly the same. Says "You telling time?" yup" "how can you tell time like that?"
Indian says "workum like sundial, readum shadow". Cowboy, incredulous, rides on. Encounters
Indian in trail masturbating. Cowboy says "let me guess, you're telling time too." Indian says " Nope.
But me windum clock!"
Indian Visits Whore House
An indian walks into a whore house and throws a bag of money on the counter and says, "me
want pussy."
The woman working the counter decides that she wants to have a little fun with him, and tells him
that he must first fuck the big oak tree on the hill.
The indian replies, "me no want tree, me more...

if ur a girl with a penis then just WALK away! if ur a guy with a pussy then go masterbate to a tree cuz that all u can get....ok well im a girl with a pussy so does that make me part man tooo??? bawhahahahahaha!!! if u get bord reading this then go and play the penis game...here are the rules....say penis louder than the other person...ok have fun!

Q. Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?
A. They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.

the dick said to the pussy can i park there
the pussy said sure but do it hard
the dick said i will
only if the mouth sucks me
if the licking starts at me said the pussy
the dick said i am 20inches long
the pussy said ok
the dick said lets get start
p.s. you might get relly horny