Pussy Jokes / Recent Jokes

One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her and put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. She had no name so we named her pussy cat. The vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her.

My husband, the complainer said, "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks."

My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. He call my husband El Cheap-O. My husband calls him El Take-0.

Next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor which was located next door to the vet. The doctor's office was full of people waiting to see the doctor. The door opened and in popped the vet and announced to my husband, "Your wife's pussy is finally clean and shaved. She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I think she's pregnant. God knows who the father is!" and then he more...

One day a boy asks his dad,
what is the difference between a pussy and a cunt?
Dad thought for a minute and said come with me.
He took his son to his mothers bedroom, where she was sleeping nude.
Son he whispered, see that black soft furry patch, that is a pussy.
The boy asked,
may I touch it to see how soft and furry it is?
No replied his father,
that might wake the cunt up.

A blonde woman strode angrily into the large store and slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction.

The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"

The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that' Pussy Treats' are meant for' cats'?"

What is the loose skin around the pussy called? -The woman.

The boy asks his dad:"What's the difference between a' cunt' and a' pussy'?" The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around acrotch and says: "Everything inside the circle is a' pussy', everything outside the circle is a' cunt'"

On the eve of her wedding, the bride-to-be confessed to her best friend that she was worried about her husband finding out that she wasn't a virgin.
"No problem," said the friend. "Just go out and buy yourself a nice piece of liver and put it up inside you just before you have sex. You'll feel nice and tight and he'll never know the difference."
She went ahead and followed her friend's advice.
On her wedding night, she and her new husband went wild. They did it in the tub, they did it on the floor, they did it just about everywhere.
The bride woke up the next morning and found her new hubby was gone and all that was left was a note that read:
Sweetheart, I love you very much. I feel terrible about what has happened. I can't go on after this, and I know now that we can never have a life together.
Goodbye darling.
P.S:...Your pussy is in the refrigerator!

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier".
The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.