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Fruit Cake Recipe
1 c water
1 c butter
4 lg. eggs
1 btl WHISKEY
8 oz mixed nuts
1 tsp. salt
juice of one lemon
1 c brown sugar
2 c dried fruit
1 tsp baking powder
Sample whiskey to check quality. Take a large bowl. Re-sample whiskey to ensure it is of the highest quality. Pour one cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one tsp. of sugar and beat again. Make sure whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn on the mixerer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl, chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If fried druit gets stuck in beaterers, pry loos with a drewscriver. Sample whiskey to check for tonsiscency. Next sift two cups of salt...or something...who cares? Check whiskey again. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the more...
A just-married Chinese couple decided to make love on the wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy condom from the shop nearby. When the husband left, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off. The husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sell condom and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin. He asked the shop owner to sell him one piece of condom and the shop owner asked him which quality does he want. "The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each." So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents with him. While the husband was out, a black Indian thief came into the room. The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabs the thief and happily screwing away. The wife more...
Managed Friendship Plan
Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship. Under Managed Friendship, your friendship needs are coordinated by your designated more...
Managed Friendship Plan
Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about
friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines
all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important
cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened
accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are
met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from
a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old
neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly
duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends
may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with
inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship.
Under Managed Friendship, your friendship more...
Managed Friendship PlanWelcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features.How Does It Work? Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.What's Wrong with my Current Friends? If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship. Under Managed Friendship, your friendship needs are coordinated by your designated Best Friend, who will more...
Rum Cake
Before you start, sample the rum and check for good quality.
Good, isn't it?
Now select a large mixing bowl, measuring cups, spatula, etc.
(Check that rum again for quality. It must be just right!
Try it again.)
With an electric beater, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one tsp. sugar and beat again. (Meanwhile, make certain
that rum is of best quality.)
Add two large eggs and two cups of dried fruit and beat until very
high. If fruit gets stuck in the beater, pry it out with a
screwdriver. (Sample rum again, checking for consistency.)
Next, sift in three (2) cups of baking powder and add a pinch
of rum, one seaspoon of soda and one cupa papper...(or maybe
salt?) Anyway, don't fret, just taste that rum again. Good
stuff.
Next, sift in a half pint of lemon juice, fold in chopped buttermilk
and strained nuts. Sample rum again.
Now, one bablespoon srown sugar, or whatever more...
Ingedients
1 teaspoon sugar
2 bottles rum
1 cup dried mixed fruit
2 cups brown sugar
1 teaspoon soda
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
1/2 cup baking powder
1 ounce lemon juice
1/2 pound mixed nuts
Before starting, sample the rum to check quality. It must be just right.
To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure rum is still OK all right. Try another cup. Open second bottle, ifffxx necessary.
Sample rum again.
Next, sift 3 cups pepper of salt, really doesn't matter. Sample rum. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add a bablespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mel.
Greese oven. Turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Pour mess into boven and ake. Check rum and go to bed.