Quit Jokes / Recent Jokes

When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his
new little town of all Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a
problem with his barbecuing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat
on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they
could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over
to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this
whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you
should join our church and become a Catholic."
Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right.
Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. The big day came and the
priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you
were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he
sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a more...

ADAM & EVE
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't
find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were
earlier. Adam said, "This morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve
now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
THE EPIC OF THE BAKED BEAN
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always
caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them. The
reaction of his body to the beans was swift and terrible to behold.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they
would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and more...