Quit Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, "But why?" he asked."Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly."Look, I'll give you a raise.""No," she said"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me.""Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off herunderwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look I haven't had this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear it's nature. Look I have it too...." "Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as well."

AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle's Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and Improve Student GradeAMM Add Mayo and MustardAMM Answer My MailAMS Add Memory to SystemANC ANnoy ConsultantAOI Annoy Operator ImmediateAR Advance RudelyAR Alter RealityARN Add and Reset to Non-zeroARN Add and Reset to NonzeroARZ Add and Reset to ZeroAS Add SidewaysASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIAT Accumulate TriviaAWP Argue With ProgrammerAWTT Assemble With Tinker ToysBA Branch more...

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife. She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant." The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have any children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay." She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well. After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that more...

A guy in sitting in a bar hving a drink. All of a sudden an alien sits down next to him, licks its finger and sticks it in the guys ear. he's a little annoyed, but doesn't say anything.the next thing he knows, the alien does it again. this time the guy tells him to quit. five minutes later, it happens again. this time he yels at him to stop. ten minutes later, he finds a finger in his ear. finally, he jumps up and screams, " If you don't quit I'm gonna rip your balls off!". the alien thinks about it for a second, and does it again. the guy jumps up, pulls its pants down, but there was nothing there! in frustration he asks, "How do you screw?!!"
the alien smiles and sticks his finger in the guys ear.

One night, a man woke up after hearing a voice telling him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Las Vegas."
Although he was disturbed, he ignored the voice and went about his business as usual. However, the next night the same voice came to him in a dream, with the same message. And so it went for weeks, with the same dream recurring every night, and the voice repeating the same message each time, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Las Vegas."
Unable to stand it any longer, he quit his job, sold his house, took all his money, and headed to Las Vegas.
When his plane landed and he disembarked, he heard the voice again, "Go to a casino, quickly." He immediately hopped in a cab and rushed to the nearest casino. As soon as he set foot inside, he heard the voice tell him, "Go to the roulette table."
As he reached the roulette table, the voice said, "Put all your money on 17." more...

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat.
One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife.
She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant."
The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have any children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay."
She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.
After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned more...

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat.One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife.She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant."The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have any children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay."She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she was more...