Range Jokes / Recent Jokes
Aries
The Ram. Their farts are "Built Ram Tough". They may feel like Curly-Qs coming out of their asses because their farts mimic the curves of a ram's horns. They, the farts, sometimes like to butt heads with other farts. Since people born under the sign of Aries show strong leadership and like to get things started, they are always the first ones to fart while around other people. Their farts tend to be loud since they are energetic. Do you like to hear robust farts? Too shy to be the first one to fart? Get with an Aries.
Taurus
The Bull. Their farts can be very stubborn, and once released, they can stink up a space with power for very long periods of time-longer than average. Their farts just don't want to go away. Their farts can even be kinda sharp and hurt their *******s when they come out, because they are big and mimic the sharp horns of the bull. Since Taurus people love sensual pleasures, they must take care not to over-indulge and more...
What's the range of a tuba?
About twenty yards if you have a good arm.
Steven Spielberg was filming his latest movie deep in the heart of the Amazon rain forest. The costs involved in transporting the multitude of movie making equipment to the site were immense. On top of that, he had a cast of thousands to feed and clothe. It was his most expensive production yet and he sank his entire personal fortune into the project.
The biggest expense was building an exact replica of an Ancient city in the middle of the jungle. No expense was spared to make the city authentic.
The climax of the movie was to be the complete destruction of the city in a dramatic fire. Since Spielberg planned to actually burn the city to the ground, there was only one chance to film it. He set up four cameras:
"Camera one, I want you up in the helicopter to get an overhead shot of the whole scene."
"Yes, boss."
"Camera two, I want you at the edge of the clearing for a medium range shot."
"Yes, boss."
"Camera more...
A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again. He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
Q: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.
Murphy`s Laws Of CombatIf the enemy is in range, so are you.Incoming fire has the right of way.Don`t look conspicuous, it draws fire.There is always a way.The easy way is always mined.Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.Professionals are predictable, it`s the amateurs that are dangerous.The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When you`re ready for them. b. When you`re not ready for them.Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.If you can`t remember, the claymore is pointed at you.The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down.If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won`t be able to get out.Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.If you are short of everything more...
The trip to the rifle range had been canceledAt one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for thesecond year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.One soldier mused,? Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn`t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run??