Ranger Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day the lone ranger and tonto are out riding in texas. they stop at a bar and start to have a drink. then a big guy comes in and says "who's white horse is outside?"
the lone ranger stands up and says " what abuot it ?" the man says "well your horse is about to faint" so the lone ranger told tonto "go run around silver and see if you can get some air movin" a couple minutes later anoither guy walks in and asks who's white horse it is outside. the lone ranger stands up and says "what's wrong with my horse?!!!" the guy says "nothins wrong with your horse you just left your injun runnin".

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, sitting at a makeshift campfire. To the ranger's horror, the man is eating a fish and a bald eagle.
He immediately arrests the man and puts him in jail. The following morning, the man appears before the Judge.
"Are you aware that eating a Bald Eagle is a federal offense?" asks the Judge.
"Yes, I am," replies the man, "but please allow me to explain what happened."
"You may proceed," instructs the Judge.
"I was lost in the woods and hadn't had anything real to eat for two weeks," explains the man. "I was so hungry, I was eating plants to stay alive."
"Then one day, I arrive at a lake. I see a Bald Eagle swooping down to the water and flying away with a fish in its talons. I thought, 'if I startled the Eagle, maybe I could steal the fish.'"
"Low and behold, the eagle lighted more...

A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears. Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to NY and onward west to Yellowstone.
They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the
grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance and finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged with no sign of the missing men.
They followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the
female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had
eaten the scientist because more...

A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their whole lives studying the majestic grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study these wondrous beasts.

Finally, their request was granted and they immediately flew to NY and then on West to Yellowstone. They reported to the localranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and
it was much too dangerous to go out and study the animals.

They pleaded that this was their only chance. Finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given cell phones and told to report in each and every day.

For several days they called in, but then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the scientists' camp completely ravaged. No sign of the missing men.


They then followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the female and more...

(This joke comes from folk musician Art Thieme, who told it at a
University of Chicago Folk festival)
A ranger was walking through the forest and encountered a hunter
with a rifle and a dead loon.
"What in the world do you think you're doing? Don't you know that
the loon is an endangered bird?"
Instead of answering, the hunter showed the ranger a trunk containing
12 more dead loons.
"What on earth are you going to do with 13 dead loons?" the
ranger asked.
"My family eats them."
"Well, what does a loon taste like?"
"Oh, somewhere between an American Bald Eagle and a Trumpeter Swan..."

clever creatures
A visitor to Glacier National Park in Montana lost his car keys while attempting to lure a ground
squirrel by dangling the keys out in front of the critter. The squirrel grabbed the keys and ran down
a hole with them. The keys were never retrieved, a ranger cited the man for harassment of wildlife,
and a locksmith was called to make new car keys.
putting our loved ones at risk for a photo
In May of 1994, Tony Moore, 43, of Marietta, Georgia, was gored and seriously injured by a large male
bison in Yellowstone, next to the Lake Hotel. Moore and a friend had approached to within 15 feet of
the bison to have their pictures taken. While they were standing with their backs to the animal, it
charged. Moore's companion escaped, but Moore received a severe puncture wound in his right thigh and
was taken by ambulance to a hospital in Jackson for treatment.
watching for falling rocks
A visitor setting up camp at Lake more...