Ranks Jokes / Recent Jokes

Boot camp. Duluth, Minnesota. February. Six A.M. Six below zero.
The Sergeant bellows, "Outta those bunks! Birthday suit inspection! I want you
(deleted) to fall in outside, NOW! Buck nekkid! Stand close enough to make the
man in front of you smile! MOVE, YOU #@$$&*s!"
The barracks quickly empty, the men fall in and shiver at attention.
The Sergeant hollers, "LOOSEN RANKS!"
The ranks separate a bit. The Captain approaches, carrying a swagger stick.
With the stick, he swats one of the men across the chest.
"Did that hurt, Mister?" the Captain demands.
"No, SIR!" the recruit shouts.
"Why not?" barks the Captain.
"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, SIR!"
The Captain nods, and moves on down the front rank a bit. He whacks another man
across the butt.
"Did that hurt, Mister?"
"No, SIR!"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, more...

(Well, since there seems to be a plethora of Soviet jokes anyway...
This one was told to me by a Russian.)
It seems that Reagan and Gorbachev arranged a competition to determine
whose nation had the bravest troops. The two leaders arrived, at the
designated hour, on a plateau in Finland high above the water. Each
was accompanied by a battalion of crack troops, smartly uniformed.
The leaders shook hands.
Reagan went first. He addressed his battalion of Marines:
"Private Jones! Front and center."
Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks,
facing his commander.
"Private Jones! March to the edge of the cliff."
Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.
"Private Jones! Jump!"
Jones just stood there, unmoving.
"Private Jones! I said jump!"
The man's knees started to shake, but he was otherwise more...

It was 5: 00 in the morning at the U. S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walks in and bellowed, "This is a birthday suit inspection. I wanna see y'all formed up outside butt naked now!" So the soldiers quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up into three ranks. The sarge walked out and yelled, "Close up the ranks; conserve your body heat!" So the men closed in tightly. The captain came along with his swagger stick. He went to the first soldier and whacked him right across the chest with it. "Did that hurt?" he yelled. "No, sir!" came the reply. "Why not?" "Because I'm a U. S. Marine, sir!" The sergeant was impressed and walked on to the next man. He took the stick and whacked the soldier right across the rear. "Did that hurt?" "No, sir!" "Why not?" "Because I'm a U. S. Marine, more...