Reindeer And Elf Jokes

What do elves learn in school?
The elfabet.
Who is the most famous singing elf?
Elf Vis.
What is the most favorite elf pet?
An Elflephant?
What do elves do when a fellow elf falls down?
They elf em up.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
He had low Elf esteem.
What do you call an elf that likes to swim?
An elfin.
What do you call a stingy elf.
Elfish
How do elves get up into the workshop attic?
The Elflevator.
How do you describe an elf who refuses to take a bath?
Elfully smelly.
What do you call an elf who teaches english?
A subordinate Claus

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME....
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to
Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known -- ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Driver's swear. .... are you listenin', At the Mall. .... folks are gripein', A miserable sight. .... they're sorry tonite, Drivin' in New Jersey's TrafficLand!
Gone away. ..... are your tires,
meter has. ..... just expired,
They towed you away, while you shopped today,
Parkin' in New Jersey's TrafficLand!
On the Parkway we will have a breakdown,
We'll be stuck and threatened on the side,
If we're lucky, someone might come mug us,
And if we plead they may give us a ride!
Santa's sleigh. .... was impounded,
All the Elves. ..... were surrounded,
He's now in a cell. ... for ringin' his bell,
Living in New Jersey's TrafficLand!

Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
They look silly in polyester.
Why did the reindeer wear black boots?
Because her brown ones were muddy.
How long should a reindeers legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground.
Which reindeer have the smallest legs?
The shortest ones.
Where do you find reindeer?
Depends upon where you leave them.
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you!
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers!
Why did the reindeer wear brown boots?
Because her black ones were muddy!
Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach?
Because he didn't want to be recognized!
What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
Baby reindeer!
What did the Mom Reindeer say to keep her reindeer kids inside?
"Because of the rain... Dear."
Why did the reindeer wear green boots?
Because her blue Gucci pumps were more...

Top 10 Comments Made By The Reindeer During Their Xmas Flight^10. "Sheesh! What's he been eating this year? ROCKS?"

9. "He shouts all our names all the time, sure, but do you really think he
knows which one is which?"

8. "I never knew Donner had a tattoo THERE."

7. "Sure... HIS seat is a flotation device. What about us?"

6. "Tried those new lite oats? You really should."

5. "Man, I hope we pause on a rooftop soon. I'm beat."

4. "HEY! Watch the antlers there, buddy!"

3. "Did you hear you-know-who got a nose job?"

2. "You know, after a few hundred miles, these jingling bells really get
annoying!"

And Finally...

1. "So, you want to go someplace afterward for some reindeer games?"