Replys Jokes

One summer spring afternoon little Timmy wanted to use the little boys room, to his suprise when he walked in his mommy was taking a bath and humming away to her suprise seeing little timmy who was only three she tries to cover herself as fast as she could, but little timmy being curious as he was ask mommy,
what is that black mushy thingy just under her belly button, as shocked as she was she replys comly, " now Timmy thats mommy's sponge." That was a reasonable answer for a curious little timmy so he wonders off to his daily activities, The summer rolls around and Timmy was on his way to the little boys room,
and to his suprise he runs in to mommy in the shower and this time something was different to his eyes so he asks, " mommy where is ur sponge?" As shocked as she was she replys, "Timmy I lost it when I cleanded the bathroom last week. timmy sadened by this promises his mother that he would do every thing to
find her the sponge. Later that more...

At 3am a wife wakes up and notices that her husband is not in bed. So, she goes downstairs to look for him and finds him sitting at the kitchen table, with a big tumbler of scotch in front of him. After he takes a drink, she notices that he wipes away a tear from his eye. She rushes to his side, kneels down beside him, holding his hand she says, "hony, what is wrong"?. He says, "do you remember when we started dating when you were sixteen years old"?. The wife replys, yes. He says, "do you remember when your dad caught us having sex in the back of my car"?. The wife replys, yes. He says, "do you remember when your dad stuck that shotgun in my face and told me that I either marry you or he would have me put in jail for twenty years"?. "yes, I remember that too, says the wife. The husband takes another drink, wipes away another tear, looks her in the eye and says, "well, I would have gotten out today".

This man walks into a bar and two steps he realizes that it's a gay bar. But the man really wants a drink so he goes in anyway. The man walks up to the bartender and says, "I'd like a beer." And the bartender replys, "I can't give you a drink until you tell me the name of your penis." The man is very confused, so he turns to the guy on his right and asks him, "What's the name of your penis?" And the guy replys, "Timex... Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'" So then the man turns to the guy on his left and asks him, "What's the name of your peinis?" And the man replys, "Energizer... It keeps going and going and... " So the man finally understands what is going on, and he says to the bartender, "The name of my penis is Secret." And the bartender asks "Why?" And the man replys, "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman."

A baby Camel goes up to its mother and says "Why do we have long eyelashes," and the mother reply"To stop sand getting in our eyes."
A few moments later the baby camel comes up to his mother and askes" why do we have long toes" and the mother replys" To stop us from sinking in the sand."
A few moments later the baby camel walke up to his anyoed mother and say"Why do we have these humps on our back" and the mother replys to store water in them."
"So we have eyelashed to stop sand from getting in our eyes, long toes to stop us sinking in the sand and humps to store water in, but mum, why are we in London zoo?

A man walked into a sex shop and asked" I would like the best viabrator you have got.
The man behind the counter replys" i have just what your looking for" and dashes behind the counter. He hops back up with a dusty old box and says"This is the Voododick. all you have to do is say is Voododick, then what you want it to fuck and it will go. Heres a demo".
And he pulls in out of the box, turns it on and says"VOODODICK DOOR" and the voododick races across the room and fucks the door off of its hingers.
So the man takes it home and decides to try it. he pulls it out turns it on and when his wife came in he said" Voododick PUSSY" and the voododick went and fucked his wife.
On the way to work the next day the wife gets pulled over by the cops and is made to do a drinking test. She passes with full marks.
The officer says"why were you driving all over the road. She says" its the Voododick"
"The more...