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THE CHINESE DETECTIVE
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch..
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.
NO FEE

HR Consultant: "Here's my final consulting report on your company. I've listed all the dead-weight employees who should be fired."

Boss: "This is the company directory."

HR Consultant: "Finding that was a huge time-saver."

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:

Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch..
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.

NO FEE

The annual Toilet Paper Report has rolled around again.
The report, from Quilted Northern tissue, says three out of five respondents prefer toilet paper be dispensed from over the top of the roll.
Also: The average American makes six trips to the bathroom a day.
The average man's visit lasts about seven minutes, vs. about eight minutes for women.

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. fall out of tree, not see.. .....NO FEE

In order to streamline the handling of problems within the system. Please fill out the following questionnaire before sending it in for Help. With your co-operation we should be able to provide faster and more efficient fault resolution.
COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM
1. Describe your problem:
______________________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
______________________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
____________________________-_________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__
6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it more...

In order to streamline the handling of problems within the system. Please fill out the following questionnaire before sending it in for Help. With your co-operation we should be able to provide faster and more efficient fault resolution.COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM1. Describe your problem:______________________________________________________2. Now, describe the problem accurately:______________________________________________________3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________-_________________________4. Problem Severity:A. Minor__B. Minor__C. Minor__D. Trivial__5. Nature of the problem:A. Locked Up__B. Frozen__C. Hung__D. Shot__6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__9. Have you made it worse? Yes__10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__11. Are you sure you've more...