Researchers Jokes / Recent Jokes
A severely brain-damaged woman in an unresponsive, vegetative state showed clear signs on brain imaging tests that she was aware of herself and her surroundings, researchers reported today.
When they are done studying Jessica Simpson, the researchers plan to study Anna Nicole Smith, Keith Richards and the mysterious consciousness of Paris Hilton.
Why have scientists begun to use lawyers instead of lab rats for research?
Two reasons: first, they are more plentiful than rats, second, the researchers don’t get as attached to them.
One problem, though, is that no one has been able to extrapolate the test results to human beings.
Response:
C’mon Guys! That’s only half the joke about researchers, lab rats and lawyers. There are four, well-known reasons why researchers prefer lawyers to rats:
1. Lawyers are more plentiful. (You got this one.)
2. They are easier to train.
3. Researchers don’t get attached to them. (You got this one, too.)
4. There are some things a rat won’t do.
Researchers have finally released the ingredients in Viagra: 2% aspirin, 2% ibuprofen, 1% filler, and 95% "Fix a Flat"
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but they can't remember what they are.
According to a new study by a group of brain researchers, putting negative emotions like anger and sadness into words often makes people feel better.
The researchers said the exception is a suicide note.