Restart Jokes / Recent Jokes

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a news release stating:
"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day
Every time you painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on
Occasionally executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you'd have to reinstall the engine
Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought more...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a news release stating:"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a dayEvery time you painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new carOccasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive onOccasionally executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you'd have to reinstall the engineOnly one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or CarNT". But then you more...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1, 000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a news release stating:"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a dayEvery time you painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new carOccasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive onOccasionally executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you'd have to reinstall the engineOnly one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or CarNT". But then more...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept
up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr Welch himself):
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the more...

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless more...

1.Each time the lines on the road were repainted, you would have to buy a new car.
2.Occasionally, your car would die on the highway for no reason. You would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Your car would crash at least twice a day, for no reason whatsoever.
4. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, you could just borrow a friend's and copy it.
5. The air bag system would say, "Are You Sure?" before going off.
6. A single "General Car Default" warning light would replace oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights.
7. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". Of course, then you would have to buy more seats.
8. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only work on five percent of the roads.
9. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to more...

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car. 2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, accept this, restart and drive on. 3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too. 4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads. 6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower. 7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light. 8. People would get excited about the more...