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A little boy goes up to his father and asks:
"Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."
The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"
The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."
The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"
He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, more...

A little boy goes up to his father and asks:"Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in more...

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked' How much is 2x3?' I said' 6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me' How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!

At night someone knocks on the door. Jeeto wakes up and asks:
"Santa, is that you?"
Silence. She returns to bed. Again a knock.
"Santa, don't make me nervous, is that you?"
Silence. She waits a while then returns to bed. Again a knock. She opens the door to find her drunken husband, Santa, standing there.
"You moron! I was asking if it was you, why weren't you answering???"
"I was nodding you!!!"

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

A little boy goes up to his father and asks:"Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500, 000." The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500, 000." The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"He returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in more...

One night a man is driving when his car breaks down in the middle of the street. He walks to the nearest house and rings the doorbell. A little old lady answers the door wearing a pink robe and pink slippers. The man asks if he can use her phone to call a toe truck. The old lady tells him it is to late to call for a toe truck so he can stay the night w/ her and call in the morning. She takes him through the pink hallway, up the pink stairs, through another pink hallway to the 3rd pink door to the right. She tells him that this is where he will sleep for the night. she walks back down the pink hall to the 1st pink door on the left and open the door. She walks in and takes off her pink robe and pink slippers, turns off the pink light and gets into her pink bed. About an hour later the doorbell rings agian. She put on her pink slippers and her pin robe, crawles out of her pink bed, turns on the pink light and leaves the room. She walks down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, down more...