Rev Jokes

1. Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of Heaven". Below
that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."
2. Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best
prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
3. A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?"
Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50
Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."
4. On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village
church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied:
"Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."
5. During a children's sermon, Rev. more...

A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down.

He turned on his flashers and tried to get someone's attention to help him.

Eventually a Lamborghini Countach pulls up."Any chance I could get a lift into town?" said the mini-van driver.

"I can do better than that," the man driving the Countach replied. "I've got a V-12 under this hood, I can tow you to the nearest town, no problem. Just honk your horn and flash your lights if I start going too fast."

They head off down the road and eventually come to a stoplight and up pulls a Ferrari F40 with a V-10.

The F40 began to rev it's engine to get the Countach to race.

The Countash rev's its engine and the light turns green.

They fly out of there, and about a half a mile down the road they pass a speed trap.

The officer there watches them pass and radios to base saying, "Base, you will not more...

The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Evening massage - 6 p. m.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8: 30 p. m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

For those of you who have children and don`t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether more...