Rider Jokes / Recent Jokes

What does ever horse and rider do at the same time? Grow old!

Top 10 signs that a computer is owned by a Harley rider:
10. - The monitor & CPU have been repainted orange and black.
09. - System sound effects now play a Harley kicking over when a program starts.
08. - There's an oil stain on the floor just below the computer.
07. - Number key pad only goes up to two.
06. - Password is "WillieG".
05. - The mouse is referred to as "the Rat".
04. - There is a Skoal can mounted in the CD-ROM drive.
03. - Expansion slots have Genuine Harley-Davidson bike parts installed in them.
02. - The keyboard is mounted at the level of the user's chin and his seat tilts backward - ape-hanger keyboard!
And the Number 1 sign that a computer is owned by a Harley rider:
01. - A half-naked, big-breasted "warrior princess" and her tiger have been airbrushed onto the sides of the monitor!

A man walked out into the street in New York, and managed to flag down a taxi just driving by.
He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, " Perfect timing. You're just like Dave."
The passenger said, "Who?"
The cabbie said, "Dave Bronson. Now there's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along just when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave."
The rider said, "Well, nobody's perfect."
The cabbie said, "Dave was. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in golf. He could have played tennis with the best pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He could fix anything, not like me. If I change even a fuse, I black out the whole neighborhood."
The rider said, "No wonder you remember him."
The cabbie said, "Well, no I never actually met Dave."
The more...

There was this old old old old lady and she had this parrot and wanted him to learn some new words for church.
So the first day they went out they saw these two ladies fighting and the parrot heard on of them say “Your a mother fucking liar! ”.
The second day they went out they saw these two boys playing ball and one of them hit the ball right across the other boy’s head and he knelled down and said “If you would of hit me with that ball, I would of fucked you up! ”.
The third day they went out to the race tracks and a rider fell off the horse and another rider said “Just kick ’em in the ass and he’ll get up”.
So it was Sunday; Church day and the preacher said “The Lord is with us”, and the parrot said “Your a mother fucking liar! ”.
The preacher then threw a bible and just missed the parrot and the parrot kneeled down and said “If you would of hit me with that bible I would of fucked you up! ”.
The old lady fainted and the more...

This subway rider is:

a. wearing an all-leather Islamic veil

b. in a cozy sleeping bag

c. expecting to be arrested soon and wants to be ready for the perp-walk