Roads Jokes / Recent Jokes
Chee Soon Juan - Did I say that the chicken crossed the road? I meant the chicken-rice stall across the road, but left out some letters because of typo. SDP vice-chairman - wo ting bu dong ni jiang shen me. (I don't know what you are saying). Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Worker's Party - The PAP doesn't allow chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - The opposition must be loyal to Singapore. Don't eat Hainanese chicken rice. Eat Singapore noodles. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say eat Hainanese chicken rice? I said CONSUME chicken rice at the stall across the road. PAP - There is no chicken rice stall across the road. Worker's Party - That is not true. The PAP just doesn't want chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - We must always stay on this side of the road and remain true Singaporeans. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say consume chicken rice across the road? I said eat chicken rice OPPOSITE the road. PAP - You said more...
While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 113."They got out and measured their rig, which was 124.""What do you think?" one asked the other. The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Lets take a chance!"
Why did the Romans build straight roads?
So their soldiers didn`t go around the bend!
Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.
Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them.
Oct. 14 Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise! I love it here.
Nov. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, I won. Than the snowplow came by. We had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place! I love Montana!!
Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did it's trick again more...
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road!" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, more...
JERRY SEINFELD;
Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?
FREUD;
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES;
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.
OLIVER STONE;
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN;
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross the roads.
EINSTEIN;
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame more...