Robbed Jokes / Recent Jokes

A farmer and his daughter were coming back from town with their money from some sales and a large sack of flour when all of a sudden these highway men held them up and robbed them of everything.

A few minutes later the farmer exclaims, "We're ruined, all the money's gone and there's no flour for bread!"

His daughter says, "No, papa, I hid the money in my you-know-what."

The farmer said, "You're a good girl, but if your mamma was here -
she could have saved the sack of flour as well!"

There is three girls who are dead and they're waiting to get into heaven. Well the man at the gates said, " there was a shootout down on thirty fourth street and we have to send a few people down to he**.Plus, you girls' records are toooooooo clean, if you can go back to earth and do the worst thing possible in 6 hours, i will let all of you in." with that they were sent back down to earth and they only had 5 hrs and 55 min to do the worst thing possible. The first girl robbed the bank on 33rd street and the second girl killed her father. when they went back up to heaven the man asked them what they did the first girl replyed, " i robbed the bank on 33rd street." so he let her drink the holy water and go into heaven. Next he asked the second girl what she did and she replyed, "i killed my father." The man was blown away but he let her drink the water and go into heaven. Last he asked the remaining girl what she did and she said, "I peed in the holy more...

How do you know if you have been robbed by a mexican? Your dog is pregnant and your bike is gone

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: She tied up the safe and blew the guard!

Later one night, a woman was walking home alone when a man grabbed her and dragged her into the bushes.
"Help me!" she screamed, "I'm being robbed!"
"You ain't being robbed, lady," interrupted her attacker, "You're being raped!"
As he unzipped his pants, the woman took one look and burst out laughing. "If you're planning on raping me with that," she said, "then I'm definitely being robbed!"