Rock Jokes / Recent Jokes
there was once a man who needed food & water in a huge forest.
the man found a hut, when he got inside he found a chinese family living living there. The chinese father of the family said he could stay on one condition that he was never to touch his daughter the man thought that was ok . while they were having the meal he could see what the chinese man ment 'cos the daughter was flirting with him . That night the man slept with the mans daughter having a night of passion and sex .
later that night the man slipped back into his own room but earlier the man warned him of the three chinese tortures. when the man woke up he had a big rock on his stomach he thought it was no big deal it said on the rock chinese torture number 1, 'big rock on stomach'so he threw the rock out of the window but the rock rolled over and it read chinese torure number 2'rock tied to left testical' so the thought adout jumping out of the window with the rock but the rock rolled over again and read chinese more...
3 men were sitting in a plane. They were talking about peace when the subject of weapons came up. They decided to never use weapons again to hurt anyone else.
The first man pulled out a heavy rock from under his seat and said, "I used to throw rocks like this at people I disliked. Now I know better," and with that he yanked open the emergency exit and tossed out the rock.
The second man pulled out a knife and decided he didn't want to harm anyone either, so he tossed it out the open door.
The third man gets up and opens the storage compartment and takes out a bomb. "Well, I always carry one of these around, I always wondered what it would be like to set it off. Now I know better," and he tosses it out the window.
The plane lands and the 3 men have to drive back in a rented car to their hotel.
On the way back they notice a small child sobbing on the street. They ask her what's wrong and she replies, "I was walking home and I saw this rock more...
Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice RockyMountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was.They ask the waiter who replies "Oh Sister, those are nuts." She answers "Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?""No. The kind you rock on a crack."
Psychological Christmas SongsSCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Kings Disoriented Are. DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas. NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town. .. or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense! PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why. OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell.... BORDERLINE PERSONALITY - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the more...
Whats the difference between and dead baby and a rock?
You can't have sex with a rock!
The Geologist`s Come-All-Ye (a folksong) by Brenna Lorenz
Come all ye lads and you will hear
About the life that we love dear,
Refrain: With our diddle-air-re-oh, falling rock away, knock it down,
Fall-di-knock-a-rock-away, me laddie-oh!
Geologists all bold and strong,
We are the subject of this song.
We get up with the rising sun
And map until the day is done.
We walk two hundred miles a day,
And study rocks along the way.
We fight our way through brush and trees
And slog through bog up to our knees.
When flies are thick, then we don`t walk,
They carry us from rock to rock.
We swing our hammers with a whack,
Take home an outcrop on our backs.
Nine hundred pounds of rock or more
Is just an average daily score.
If we run out of food to eat
There`s always rock beneath our feet.
There`s nothing quite like granite stew
`Though graptolites are some good, too.
In the evening to more...