Rock Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ever wonder which cartoon character you are most like? Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of cartoon characters. The gathered information has been incorporated into this quiz.Answer each question with the choice that most describes you at this point in your life, then add up the points that correspond with your answers. >1. Which describes your perfect date? a) Candlelight dinner for two
b) Amusement Park
c) Rollerblading in the park
d) Rock Concert
e) See a movie >2. What is your favorite type of music? a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Classical
e) Christian >3. What is your favorite type of movie?
a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary >4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only
>these choices? a) Waiter/Waitress
b) Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Policeman
e) Bartender >5. Which would you rather do if more...

Bill Maher & Chris Rock on Real Time 09-26-08 talking about the Presidential Debate, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin & White People.

fred and wilma flinstone was in bed wen pebbles there son came in and said daddy what is that fred said it is a rock and then he goes mommy what is that she said it was a rock grinder so pebbles goes so daddy puts his rock in mommys rock grinder and here comes pebbles

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality: We Three Kings

Disoriented Are. Dementia: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.

Narcissistic: Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

Mania: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

Paranoia: Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.

Obsessive Compulsive: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...

Borderline Personality: Thoughts of Roasting in more...

Student: J. Christ Form: III Term: 1
SubjectGradeTeacher's Comment
ReligionD
To the question "Who made the world?" persisted in answering 'My
dad'. Claims bible originated from the same source.
EnglishD+
Tends to speak and write in archaic forms and uses outmoded
figures of speech.
History A
Excellent pupil of ancient and Religious History.
Geography C-
Assignment on 'Hot, dry lands' was excellent, but shows little
interest in the rest. In geology, keeps talking about the Rock of
Ages instead of the ages of Rock.
Social StudiesB+
Shows keen interest in social issues.
MathematicsF
Lacks basics. Keeps muttering about 'Three in one' and 'I and
the father are one'.
General ScienceD
Lacks disipline - e.g., when asked to repeat the experiment for
making hydrogen, claimed he knew a better way.
Graphic CommunicationD
Prefers to draw with a stick in the sand to pencil more...

One Sunday morning, the minister told the congregation that he was going to say a series of words, and he wanted them to sing the song that came to mind, when he said each word.
The first word he said was "rock"
They immediately started singing "Rock of Ages."
The second word he said was "Blood" and they sang "Power in the Blood."
The third word was "Cross" and they began singing "The Old Rugged Cross."
The fourth word he said was "Sex", everyone gasped and then it got very quiet, then way in the back of the church an 87 yr old lady stood up and started singing "Memories."

A black man's walking thru the jungle, hands scraping the ground, when all of a sudden he hears a distant sound.... ChangLingWang, WungChonLee "What da fuck was that?" he says to himself. Then he keeps on strolling through the jungle. A few seconds later, he hears it again! Only much louder... PoeMangFu, WongTonChi All of a sudden he comes across an open clearing, in the jungle, and he sees a beautiful pond about 50 ft. in front of him. And standing on the edge of the pond, he sees an Asian man. He then proceeds to walk towards this Asian and once upon him, he asks him whether he knows where that particular sound from the jungle is coming from.
"OOhhh, yes. You see, this is a magic pond that tell you your ANCESTORS names by skipping a rock on it. Watch and listen." With that, the Asian throws the rock, and as it skips, the mystical noise is heard once again... WooLangChing, HungWongLo The Asian then offers the black man a try, and hands him a rock. And with more...