Romeo Jokes / Recent Jokes
I thought I would share a transcript of a particularly productive moment in my 9th grade "English" (sic) class:
We watched the end of Zeferelli's "Romeo & Juliet" today in class. During the scene in which Romeo discovers Juliet, who appears to be dead, lying in the Capulet family crypt, the following discussion occurred:
Julio Baez: Yo, he's gonna jump on her!
Ms. Young: Julio, nowhere on this planet would that be an appropriate thing to say.
Julio: No, Ms. Young! I think he's a hermaphrodite!
Ms. Young: Julio, he's not a hermaphrodite.
Julio: No, Ms. Young! For real! There's really people who like to have sex with dead people!
Ms. Young: Yes, but they're not called "hermaphrodites," they're called "necrophiliacs."
Julio: (Aside to Felix) She's so stupid. (To me) No Ms. Young, necrophiliac is when you have that disease where you can't stop bleeding.
At least they're learning something.
(to be read aloud)
'Twas in a restaurant they met
Romeo and Juliet
But Romeo couldn't pay the debt
So Romee-owed what Julie ate ("ett").
*THE FOLLOWING BIT IS PROUDLY SPONSORED BY W. SHAKESPEARE INTERNATIONAL PLC*
He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
WHAT?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon
IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!
Who is already sick and pale with grief
WILL YOU PISS OFF - WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she
I'M WARNING YOU, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP...
Be not her maid, since she is envious.
I'M GONNA COME DOWN THERE, AND SMASH YOUR BLOODY FACE IN
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
WILL YOU PUT A BLOODY SOCK IN IT?
And none but fools do wear it: cast it off
I'M GOING TO CAST YOU RIGHT OFF THIS BALCONY IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL
It is my lady, O it is my love
LOOK, ONE MORE STANZA OUT OF YOU AND I'LL CALL THE POLICE
O that she knew she were
HELLO, POLICE?
She speaks, yet she more...
This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers.
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants
have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first
book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an
apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my
brother's son?"
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He
died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them
we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a
female moth.
6. more...