Rottweiler Jokes / Recent Jokes
At the height of the arms race, the Americans and Russians realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the entire world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world. The side whose dog won would be entitled to dominate the world and the losing side would be required to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter and removed his siblings which gave him all the milk. They used steriods and trainers and after the five year period came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage required steel bars that were five inches thick and no one could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a very strange more...
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl. "My little kitty went' Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck," the rottweiler ate him!"
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."
"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"
"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. "Hmm," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down" "Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man. "No, because he's heavy," says the vet.
Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dogfight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.
Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 " thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's more...