Rubber Jokes / Recent Jokes
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I`m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With YOU!" he said. "But Johnny," she said gently, "don`t you see how silly that is? It`s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don`t want a child."
"Oh, don`t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I`ll use a rubber!"
One day there was a little girl and it was her birthday, but her parents had to go out for the night so they hired a babysiter and told him to let the girl do whatever she required to do because it was her birthday.
So when the parents gone the little girl was playing and the babysiter got weary so he said "I'm going to take a shower and the little girl said "Oh, can I get a bathe with you?" and the babysiter said " Uh, O. K. Just don't look down."
When they were taking a bathe the little girl dropped the shampoo and when she picked it up she saw his dick and said "What's that?"
The guy said "Um, it's a ruber ducky" and the girl says "O. K."
Then the babysiter said "I'm tired I'm going to go to sleep." and the young lady says "Can I go to sleep with you?" and the guy says "Um, O. K. Just don't look under the covers."
So when they're in the bed more...
An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat.
As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor and he falls down.
As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, "If you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."
The old man snaps back, "Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today!"
An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat.As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor and he falls down.As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, "If you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."The old man snaps back, "Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today!"
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic. ” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But it feels like rubber. ”
Curious, the attorney asked, “What do you have there? ”
The drunk replied, “I don’t know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber. ”
The attorney responded, “Let me take a look. ”
So the drunk handed it over and the lawyer rolled between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely by sniffing and licking it. “Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, has no significant smell or taste, I sure don’t know what it is. Where did you get it? ”
The drunk replied, “Out of my nose! ”
A Native American boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
"Say, Mom, why is my big brother named Mighty Storm?"
"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm," she replied.
"Why is my sister's name Cornflower?" he asked.
"Well, your father and I were in a corn field when we made her," the mother replied.
"And why is my other sister named Moonchild?" he asked.
"We were watching the moonlanding while she was conceived,"
she replied.
"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"