Rudolph Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man and his wife are sitting at the kitchen table, which is next to the window. The man's name is Rudolph, and since he is Russian, people call him "Rudolph the Red." Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife, "Oh look honey, it's raining outside." She looks out as well and says, "No, I think that is snow." He looks at her and says, "Rudolph the red knows rain dear."
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole. Streamlining was due to the North Pole's loss of dominance of the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture. The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press. I am pleased to inform you that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole. Management more...
Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. ..
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate,
Original: Had a very shiny nose. ..
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre.
Original: And if you ever saw him. ..
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he
ever came into your view,
Original: You would even say it glows. ..
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities.
Original: All of the other reindeer. ..
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his
ecological community,
Original: Used to laugh and call him names. ..
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him
unspeakable pseudonyms -- the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem
and make him miserable.
Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. ..
Translation: They more...
Santa Claus brings poor Rudolph to the vet. He says to the vet, "Doctor, please do something for my Rudolph. His nose won't light up."
The vet walks out of the room and returns with a pet carrier. He places the pet carrier next to the reindeer, opens it and out steps a cat.
The cat walks around the reindeer and sniffs it.
The cat then walks back into the carrier. The animal doctor takes it out of the room and returns. He hands Santa Claus the bill.
Santa gasps, "$350 dollars! You didn't do anything for my Rudolph and you're charging me $350 dollars?"
The vet shrugged and replied, "That's the usual charge. $50 dollars for the office visit and $300 dollars for the CAT SCAN."
The usual large flamboyant typeface associated with the season's greetings had been downsized this year commensurate with the trend toward corporate downsizing. [And the fact that SMTP does not support typeface control].
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring at the North Pole.
Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and more...
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!
How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!
What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She’d go to a “re-tail”shop for a new one!
Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he’s a “rain”-deer!
Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him!
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
”Rude”-olph!
What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want because he can’t hear you!
What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
This one will “sleigh” you!
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-“deer”!
What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
”Elk”-a-seltzer!
How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the “deer”-bell!
What's red and white more...
Santa Claus brings poor Rudolph to the vet. He says to the vet, “Doctor, please do something for my Rudolph. His nose won’t light up. ” The vet walks out of the room and returns with a pet carrier. He places the pet carrier next to the reindeer, opens it and out steps a cat. The cat walks around the reindeer and sniffs it. The cat then walks back into the carrier. The animal doctor takes it out of the room and returns. He hands Santa Claus the bill. Santa gasps, “$350 dollars! You didn’t do anything for my Rudolph and you’re charging me $350 dollars? ” The vet shrugged and replied, “That’s the usual charge. $50 dollars for the office visit and $300 dollars for the CAT SCAN. ”