Rumor Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story.
The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended.
Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue.
She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road."
Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."
The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.
"You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop more...

We wish to repeat an interesting business rumor.
If this one pans out, remember that you saw it
here first.
It is widely rumored today on the internet
that United Parcel Service and Federal
Express have begun preliminary discussions
regarding a potential merger.
The new company will be called: FedUp.

Did you hear about the Newfie Who thought nipples were Japanese children?
Did you hear about the Newfie who took a course in exotic lovemaking and announced that he'd never be able to face his girl again?
Did you hear about the nurse they thought had drowned until they found her under the doc?
Did you hear about the perverted australian who left his wife and returned to Sydney?
Did you hear about the pessimistic historian whose latest book has chapter headings that read "World War One", "World War Two" and "Watch This Space"?
Did you hear about the procedure whereby a Nobel Prize winner furnishes sperm for artificial-insemination purposes that is referred to as A STROKE OF GENIUS?
Did you hear about the real smart girl who could play post-office all night without getting any mail in her box?
Did you hear about the recent cigarette survey that disclosed that 99% of the men who have tried Camels have gone back to women?
Did more...

Rumor has it that the new Miami baseball team will be called "Humidity" so that fans in Florida will be able to say, "Its not the Heat thats so bad, its the Humidity."

Mergers that may or may not make the world a funnier place:

There was a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. This would result in the new mega-corporate entity known as:' Hale Mary Fuller Grace.'

Don't forget the failed merger between Yahoo and Netscape....Net'n'yahoo.... (say it out loud) A great number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called. ... Fairwell Honeychild.

It was announced that Wurlitzer is merging with Xerox. They are going to market. .. reproductive organs.

There is a merger in the works involving Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called. .. Poly-Warner-Cracker.

Other Merger's we'd like to see:

3M & Goodyear.......................... mmmGood
John Deere & more...