Rumor Jokes / Recent Jokes
Rumor has it that Clinton has switched to smoking ciggarettes.
It seems he has decided that cigars are for pussies.
Rumor has it that Microsoft has bought out the Electrolux corporation, and after making major design revisions is finally going to market a product that doesn't suck.
The first ladies of UK, Japan and France were having a meeting with Lady Hilary Clinton. The subject of discussion was the penis of their respective spouse. The first lady of UK says, "It is like a gentle man- it stands up, as soon as I enter the room" The lady from Japan says, "It is like an army officer- you do not know where he will attack from- front or back.." The French lady says, "It is like the screen in the auditorium- once the act is performed, it drops down..." Then Hilary says, "It's like a rumor... it moves from one mouth to another..."
10. Day one: Start an official sounding rumor about your boss being considered for a big promotion. Day two: Spread a rumor that the promotion involves your boss heading up a new facility in Bosnia.
9. Whenever a co-worker asks if you want coffee, say, "No thanks, it doesn't mix well with thorazine."
8. Attach 10 or so bottles of white-out to the inside of your suit jacket. Every time you pass a co-worker, surreptitiously open your jacket and whisper, "I got white-out here; three bucks a pop; good quality stuff; who needs white-out?"
7. Bring several large mason jars to work and fill them part way with water and yellow food coloring; display them conspicuously around your work space. Tell anyone who asks about them that you are just taking part in an efficiency study that your boss came up with to cut down on the time employees spend away from their desks.
6. Tell your boss that you intend to spread out your vacation time by taking off one more...
Rumor has it that the new Miami baseball team will be called "Humidity" so that fans in Florida will be able to say, "It's not the Heat that's so bad, it's the Humidity."
“Joint Chiefs of Staff [Chair] Peter Pace is leaving his job. He’s the one who announced that all homosexual acts are immoral, and so is adultery. No wonder he left. He attacked all the members of Congress. ” –Jay Leno
“Paris Hilton is behind bars, but still no word on Osama. ” –David Letterman
“By a vote of 93-5, the Louisiana state House has voted to make it illegal for teachers to have sex with their students. Here’s my question: Who are the five people who voted for it? ” –Jay Leno
“Yesterday at the G8 Summit, Russian President Vladimir Putin offered to let President Bush build a missile defense system in Azerbaijan. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, ‘I believe the correct pronunciation is Abracadabra. ’” –Conan O’Brien
“There seems to be tension between President Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin. Again, President Bush thinks this is good. He thinks a new Cold War could help end global warming. ” –Jay more...
Irish father O`Malley is so upset about a rumor He`s hearin in the congregation. So on the next Sunday He announces" Faithful, I`ve heard despellin rumours that the flock believes in ghosts. By a show of hands who at church today believes they`ve ever set eyes on a ghost? "To his dismay a lot show their hands."Oh no people.I`ve told you there`s no such thing as a ghost and being God fearin Christians you can`t believe in them.His next question asked if anyone has ever touched a ghost before. Three of the flock raised aye. No! no! There`s no such thing I tell you! I hate as a Man of the cloth to ask this final question but I must.Is there any one in church today who will testify that they have ever had SEX with a ghost?" Way in the back 1 hand went up. "Mr.O`conner!!! How can you stand before God and say you`ve had sex with a ghost? Said O`conner"Oops irish father, thought you said Goat!" Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching more...